An explanation of why Jabberjabber has rubber pads on the elbows of his coat.
(his elbows are cold)
Thank you to NotAnOligarch for crit on this! Again! He did rather a lot of crit!
MOTORMAGE / Discussion
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I really enjoyed this one, though I'll admit that Ironband has a chokehold on me generally. The way the prose speeds along with the chase is interesting. Short statements, brief thoughts, only what one needs to survive in the moment. I will say that there are moments where it got too confusing, where I have no idea what's going on, there were too many details brushed away or lost in the confusion. Only two or three though, not a ton. Overall, I liked it. Another little characterization to make everything feel a bit more robust.
I also really like the title. It's a weird compliment to pay, but there's something about it that feels… crunchy, I guess. The caps, the joining of two words, I dunno. It really helps that whenever I read it I think of the chant in the song Motor Spirit which has an "engine hum" quality to it.
Goodbye, Zion.
I love this! No clue why this is happening but the prose is enthralling and the pacing is utterly lustrous and sublime like meat left on the bone in the pot. I want to eat it. I bet it would be crunchy like chicken feet under the molars. Help me, my stomach is cramping from eating nothing today. It will go away soon. There is glitter on my forearm. I love how alive this person is, how their body is utterly their own. I adore this work. It is slick and wet and "horribly expensive gunk" from a popped eye is such a good line — please, I adore the skill shown here. Know that you are among the best writers on this site. I am thrilled by this work alone, though I do not know what is going on or who these people are or where it all is. That is how good it is! I love it despite knowing very little. You write some of the best mixes of magic and technology there can be. Fabulous work. I eat like bullkelp leaves.
-Styg
What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?
Of the four works I had the honor of helping you with, this is my favorite. Like AKAM80 I also have an Ironband addiction, so maybe I'm heavily biased but this is just so good. Its difficult to write something fast-paced like this, and a massive testament to your incredible prowess in writing. Styg is right, you're one of the site's crown jewels. Well done, love this,
+1
Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.
I'm new to Ironband, but I might just have to read the rest if it's all gonna be this good. This creates a pulse-pounding atmosphere perfectly, and the writing style blends with the actual content of the words to thrust the reader into the scene, into the life-or-death motorcycle chase. I haven't read much of your work, but I have a feeling that's about to change.
Oil-slicked +1.
This is like Stygian without me battering his head to stop him from eternal runons.
Nevertheless it comes together with big a style and substance that shows us all why IRON is strong. Excellent piece, incredible worldbuilding, and, most importantly, de-fucking-licious prose. And like Akam said, I think of Motor Spirit, it's virulently aggressive rhythms, it's short and concussive bass.
Excellent.
I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust
Teehee.
-Styg
What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?
/forum/t-16745408/motormage#post-