I liked this a lot. Has really strong Sunless Sea vibes and atmosphere — this nautical flavoring on a bed of deep Wrongness, eldritch normality. The little bites of terminology and dialogue serve well to flesh out the world we're in without being overbearing (very easy to do in this context), and really all of it is just drenched and dripping with atmosphere.
The dialogue is also a strong point here. I do think some more could have been done to distinguish the two character's voices, but as it stands it's not bad by any means — I generally know who's talking through context alone, and the interplay between the characters is very interesting and engaging. I like the winding philosophical discussions and the contrast a lot, and the little captain's logs serve well to break up the long scenes of dialogue and give us a different look into what's happening on this Fucked Up Ship.
The prose in the last section is also pretty fun and manages to successfully translate the vibes from first to third person — the imagery of the bodies is very strong and it's just all really, really well done. It's a strong narrative at play here.
If I had any complaint, it would be twofold — I think the dialogue section that's weakest is probably the one where the Older Lady (?) turns into whatever she does. It felt a little melodramatic, over-the-top in a way that I don't think meshes well with the understated, implication-laden energy of the rest of the article. I also think the explanation from the dockmaster guy at the end isn't super great — I figured out as much from the audience's POV and it feels like of bizarre that the guy would manage to reach that conclusion in like 0.05 seconds of seeing the ship, but more pertinently, it kind of takes me out of it as a reader because it just feels like a character turning to the camera and explaining what happened at the end.
But these are ultimately minor details — overall, definitely loved reading this, great dialogue, great energy, great stuff.
