Construct Constructor to serve the Master of Castle Construct. The Castle, a towering mass of steel, lights and machinery, was ruled by the Master.
A redundancy. You say they serve the master of the castle, and then you say the castle is ruled by the Master. This is assumed.
The Master had built the first Constructs, they said, and breathed the Code of Thought into all his creations.
Who is they?
His divine programming is what allowed the constructs to think, unlike the machines outside the Castle.
I think some restructuring would do this a benefit. Try to keep ideas as tight as possible. Combine these sentences, maybe? And like, you can just say "Code of Thought" probably. I can reasonably infer that it is what gives the machines the ability to think?
There were, or at least there had been, other machines from outside the Castle. They had not been built for the Master, and so they did not have the Code of Thought; they could not think or feel, but only had the feeble, imperfect code of the outsiders.
Again, suffering from some redundancy. You already told us that things outside the castle don't have thought. You can extrapolate but don't tell us again. Something like "There were, or at least there had been, other machines from outside the Castle: unthinking, unfeeling, and feebly limited by their simple code." or something like that.
A lot of this just needs pairing down. Prune some things throughout, and it will grow with life anew.
outsiders could make life like the Master; This was Heresy
words after commas aren't capitalized
Explaining the fufillment earlier on would also heal some strange whiplash we get at the ending. It's not major, but I think it would help. Overall, I enjoyed it. I think it could use some clarifications, and, like I said, some pruning. Its like a sweater. Right now, the threads are too loose. You wanna make a tight-knit sweater. Sentence economy, essentially. Say the same amount in fewer words. But good work so far! Just needs some sanding, and then some re-polish yet
