written for combocon (heat + hideaway)
Nice thing! The perfect length — it did not outstay its welcome. The image was a nice addition too. I liked how much imagery was in there, and to how many people this person pleaded. My brain did not understand the symbolism, but my heart does. There is so much emotion in here. Only recommendation I have is to remove the different font at the bottom — but this is because I am allergic to midsentence font changes. Sweet, yearning, nocturnal. An excellent chocolate sponge cake after a dinner of seared salmon poke. Delight!
-Styg
What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?
I can see the intention here and I can understand the appeal for other people, but it just doesn't work for me. The message and feelings are there, but it doesn't feel like there's enough substance to make it meaningful and distinct. I think I sort of understood what this piece was about, but at the same time, it didn't entice me enough to really make me care. That being said, the technical writing and word choice itself is good, and helps earn this piece a novote instead of an outright downvote.
Inclined to agree. There's a technical skill on display here but the concept of the piece just isn't enough to do it for me, and the lack of length means there's nothing besides that concept (and prose, but that's not enough) to latch onto for me. It's not bad — I just don't find myself really caring one way or the other.
Also please fix the capitalization in the title it is driving me nuts lol
Personal ComboCon Reading Progress: #9
I quite like this tbh, to me it read like a desire to belong or struggle to fit in a space filled with others you admire, imposter syndrome, and a refusal to give up, promising the inevitability of success - this all resonates with me. I have to wonder if the story or the image came first, because it feels like it could be either, which speaks to the good usage of said image. I do wish there was more of a personal touch to this, which would make my current upvote into a much more solid one, but what's here is still good in my eyes
“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust.” -Lawrence Krauss
(Yes there's a similar quote from Carl Sagan that's more well-known, but I'm too much of a hipster to use that one.)
-THB
-T.H.B.
this captures the feeling of wanting to return to the universe that birthed us too well for me not to upvote. there is a case to be made for length — i don't think it needs much more than it has. i also heard a desire for a more personal story, but i think too that this walks the line very nicely between personal and relatable. it's almost a poem. +1 from me.
What an interesting piece. Love the energy it transmits; the speaker's feelings towards 'flying away' are very pungent. I like that.
+1
