What is the Afterlife? / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page What is the Afterlife?.

Dr loster 14 Apr 2024 07:39

What is Hell? There are places in this universe made of red rock and flame. Peopled by horned goats and fanged serpents. Built For the torment of souls. But these places are not Hell.They are only places. Hell is the absence of God. Hell is not a place. Not atheism. A thing cannot be absent if it was never there. To be truly absent, But is there another face that looks upon you when God's has gone? God must have once been present. God must have face, to turn it away from you. Does God have shadow?

-Immortal hulk, issue 11-

Hello, this is a little post from me talking about my thoughts on how the mythological afterlife works together. I came up with this story from my interrogations about the immortal hulk, nwod(new world of darkness).

Hope everyone has fun when reading it.

Last edited on 14 Apr 2024 07:40 by Dr loster Show more

zipzipskins 23 Apr 2024 21:25

this has a ton of difficult-to-read stuff. would benefit strongly from heavy editing, both for things a little more complex like tense issues and for things like capitalization errors or inconsistencies. i think your ruminations are interesting, philosophically, but i don't think the framing works very well. we have the concept of the piece being someone who has lived most of their life and is looking both back and forward, but everything is narrated in such a matter-of-fact manner, almost like a philosophy textbook. it's extremely dry for the majority of the read time. i think consideration of who the narrator is and how they really feel about describing this search for meaning would go a long way towards making the work feel more alive, real, and human. as it stands it seems like your conceptualization of the concept of the afterlife wedged into a framing device that doesn't do it many favors.

lzhoudidion 24 Apr 2024 02:59

I second Zip's evaluation. I think the central concept is quite solid and holds a motherlode of potential for narrative expansion should you choose to further revise the piece, but in its present state I wish it could have been delivered in a more engaging fashion. Smoothing out some of the SPaG hiccups as well as some of the more choppy lines in addition to incorporating some imagery which physically shows, describes to the reader the events depicted would go so much to make this piece shine. -1 for now, but don't give up!