My God, Not Yours / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page My God, Not Yours.

I am a librarian now!

P-H Vixter 17 May 2024 19:38

Yoooo, this is my first contribution to Wanderer's Library and I am really scared and excited at the same time lol. I hope my first-person perspective writing is good enough, I tried to add humor and the writer's voice to not make it boring, I hope I did it right hehe

Really really big thanks to MaddGasserGaton and NotAnOligarch for the crit, they helped me a lot in the making of this!

also, if any tagger staff is reading this, please kindly do the tagging for me because i really do not know what I'm doing with those every time i try it

Last edited on 17 May 2024 19:41 by P-H Vixter Show more

Din-Bidor 17 May 2024 20:02

Though I am always interested in works about faith being added to WL, this one is just not for me. It is not a story, because it is not framed as such, nor does it manage to be anything but a set of ideas cobbled together into what I felt was a rambling stream of thought. I encourage you to continue trying and perfecting your craft, but this one earns a -1 from me.

novote

NotAnOligarch 17 May 2024 20:58

collapsed for neatness

Whereas theology is my bread and butter, and I encourage everyone to give it a shot, I think some of my concerns in the critting stage have been left out to dry. Ah! They're still on the clothesline, though you have much improved the article based on the feedback you received. Din makes a good point in the frame: it is obvious you have an interesting and novel idea which you want to get across to the reader. That is a good first step; rather that than to lack thematic elements. However, the medium by which you convey those ideas gets muddled here: is it a story? If so, it is lacking. Is it an essay? If so, it is formulated incorrectly. They each serve a different purpose: fiction is for subtly infecting your reader with brain worms unbeknownst to them, while the formatted thesis is for demanding your reader be infected by their own will. You haven't really chosen a distinct path, and when one tries to go opposite directions simultaneously, they often get split in two down the middle. Again, I applaud the effort put into this, and apologize for not giving the in-depth resources when they were needed. Good work, keep trying. +0 (or, perhaps, -0) for effort.

—Oli

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Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.