"even though you shied from the light" / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page "even though you shied from the light".

UncannyClown 16 Aug 2024 19:57

thank you to stygian blue

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poet

FleshMaddAvalon 16 Aug 2024 20:09

This feels like it's drowning in refutation, slamming it's fists against walls that threaten to close in and consume it. The imagery matches the tone wonderfully in an easily digestible, short little ditty. Like sour lemon meringue that leaves a hint of sugar as it goes.

-Avalon

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

zipzipskins 10 Sep 2024 19:04

i joked on discord about how you stole my rhyme (and the obvious dylan thomas rhyme) but the thing is, this is really lovely. it demonstrates a real understanding of the form and moves from stanza to stanza very effectively, with strong imagery and emotional content throughout. +1

Snapdragon133 20 Sep 2024 04:12

I love villanelles now??? I had never heard of them before, this is very cool. I'm trying to say more, but I'm just contemplative now. This is a good piece