An Account of My Drowning / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page An Account of My Drowning.

UncannyClown 08 Sep 2024 04:04

the first segment of the piece is too belabored for my taste (i don't need a line just to tell me that water acts like a solid when hit with enough speed!), whereas i wish that the part of the piece that actually describes the drowning was longer and more detailed. currently, it's too brief and terse for me to really empathize with the narrator's pain.

---

poet

Stygian Blue 10 Sep 2024 17:51

Very pretty! I liked how dissociated it felt. It was almost distracted from the pain — but in a good way, like how one's eyes are distracted by the flickers of silver in the waves when looking upwards towards the half-shining stars a world and five breaths away. Your descriptions are incredibly evocative, and I found myself drowning, too — barely breathing, eyes razing my skull as they blurred through your work. Gorgeous, affective, pierced me with those glowing needles. Not sure of higher meaning, but I taste that it is so. I will make my own in time, just as we all weave nightmares from the sky each night.

-Styg

---

What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?