A Silly Habit / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Silly Habit.

Dream Paralysis

IronShears 22 Oct 2024 01:51

Alright, here we go!!!! All the art and junk is by me so the source is here.

This was originally an idea I had when I wanted to write something "classic creepypasta" but it never felt right. Then, I watched that one video essay on social anxiety horror a few months ago and got the basic idea down more. After that, I had a draft of this like 30% finished sitting in my sandbox for MONTHS without the final pieces to fit it together. But THEN I got the Dream Paralysis theme for this contest and realized this was a perfect. I changed quite a bit to make it fit in with the theme a bit and definitely chose a different art style than I was planning on using initially.

I really tried to capture that "trying to punch someone in a dream" feeling of lack of control with the style and whole vibe. The whole thing is meant to feel detached from reality and full of insecurity.

Thank you to my friends Koby, Pike, Nathan, and Zen for checking this out for me b4 I posted! they're not on this site.

Also, I'd like to present Koby's dog, who is the beautiful model for the comic.

Her name is Juno and she's on the no-fly list and three separate watchlists.

Here's the most recent photo of her on her FBI most wanted page. If you spot her, contact the authorities and stay away. She is considered armed and dangerous.

Last edited on 22 Oct 2024 03:19 by IronShears Show more

rumetzen 22 Oct 2024 03:16

Simple and effective, I like it.

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read YONQ

Spoddetman 22 Oct 2024 16:22

The art of this piece is good, and it does well to set up and atmosphere and reflect a believable internal monologue. That being said, I think the actual prose feels a bit overdone, continuing past the point where it's conveyed the (good) concept and said what it wants to say. Overall, I'm going to leave a novote on this, but don't mistake that as me thinking it's bad.

UncannyClown 22 Oct 2024 23:27

the visuals are very well done, but i have to second spod's criticisms. i find that the prose egregiously oversells this, which is a shame because a small amount of paring down would turn this into something really excellent.

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poet

Din-Bidor 25 Oct 2024 16:51

I am very glad to know that I'm not the only one with a fear like this one. Granted, I mostly outgrew mine when I was like 12, but this did bring very vivid flashbacks of that mute horror that haunted me whenever I awoke at 3 A.M.

Vishardsh 28 Oct 2024 00:45

I honestly did not mind the prose, though in retrospect it could have been a bit less heavy-handed. I thought the prose captured the vibe pretty well. The art is excellent and by far the highlight of the piece, however. +1 from me

minmin 28 Oct 2024 16:32

This is alright, though I think the scary lines did not need to be in a scary font. Would buy this as a zine from a charming fair. Thank you for sharing this with us, and keep at it!

Maxyfran73 29 Oct 2024 02:53

It does feel heavy-handed, that I do admit, but God the energy it carries! This was such a delight to parse through. Beautiful imagery, both in text as well as through the images. Easy +1~

zipzipskins 29 Oct 2024 21:19

i think it works really well actually. i think the contempt comes through in the prose really well, and i think the images enhance the whole thing. nice work, +1

Snapdragon133 31 Oct 2024 18:29

These words are just dripping with hate, I love it. Like always with you, the presentation is totally unique and fucking fantastic. The art style fits the vibes perfectly. I would probably agree with the previous criticisms, you likely could've cut down on some of the most extreme loathing to make it more natural, but I had a great time. Really strong control of tension. "Can you feel the drool pooling beneath your tongue?" goes insane.

+ Some nitpicky stuff

responsible human being…

Human being feels like too odd of phrasing here

thing staring you directly into your eyes.

Not sure if intentional, but the you doesn't make sense to me here

Your skin prickles over with gooseflesh…

Not bad phrasing but you have used this already so it doesn't feel that new? Like earlier it's mentioned as a possibility, but now that it's happening it doesn't feel like a significant development because we already were prompted to imagine it