Stone Mother Take Me In Your Evergreen Arms / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Stone Mother Take Me In Your Evergreen Arms.

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minmin 28 Oct 2024 15:54

Thanks to friends offsite for crit.

Image credit:

General Research Division, The New York Public Library. "Decorated style : English Gothic architecture and architectural ornamentation" The New York Public Library Digital Collections. 1858. https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/items/510d47d9-c718-a3d9-e040-e00a18064a99

Edit: prompt is 'gothic castle'. For reference, please.

Last edited on 28 Oct 2024 16:56 by minmin Show more

rumetzen 28 Oct 2024 17:00

Yeaaaaaaaaaah baby

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read YONQ

UncannyClown 28 Oct 2024 20:38

i enjoy the idea that buildings can develop wills of their own and assemble themselves into a particular order, but i didn't enjoy reading this on account of the frequency with which the prose caused my eyes to glaze over (something in the vocabulary, the descriptive language). i also find that some of the sentence fragments jut out unpleasantly.

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poet

Last edited on 28 Oct 2024 22:09 by UncannyClown Show more

Maxyfran73 29 Oct 2024 18:16

I like this! I can agree on the florid language sometimes dampening the overall energy of the piece, but the story is just so solid, and so fun, to imagine this world that you've created through the simple lens you offer. The characters are fun, and this sort of labyrinthine growth and decay of structures was really fun to parse through.

I liked it! +1~

zipzipskins 29 Oct 2024 19:44

for me this was brilliant. i don't think the language was too flowery whatsoever — rather, i found reading it to be a delight, full of gorgeous phrasing. delectable. the only time this wasn't true was in the dialogue, where it read a touch stilted at times. moreover i feel that the prompt in question was one of the most difficult to approach on the list and you did so creatively and in such an interesting fashion; i can't help but be won over by it. to top it all off — loads of characterization and setting, and all jam-packed into a very tight package. really nice, a joy to read overall. +1

Last edited on 29 Oct 2024 19:56 by zipzipskins Show more

FleshMaddAvalon 30 Oct 2024 21:15

Minus the dialogue this is one of the best things I've read in the past few years. For whatever reason this tickled me, literally giving me goosebumps. The prose was extraordinary, the fucking CONCEPT was incredible and something that made my ridiculous House of Leaves superfan heart flutter. This is… Superliminal horror??? I think???

It's new and it's fresh and I love it so fuckin dearly. Thank you.

-Avalon

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

Snapdragon133 31 Oct 2024 19:16

I simply cannot perceive the criticisms about florid language in the prose, it was captivating and enjoyable, it's not like you're smashing lines of unknown words together in a line everything is spread out in a very balanced way. I can see the criticisms for dialogue, it felt intentionally unnatural when talking to Winnie and I loved that but the ending dialogue was more normal so things feel kinda off. The first line instantly pulled me in, it felt super poetic. A fascinating mystery, an unexpectedly exciting final act, I loved it. Also that finale before that epilogue-esque section is perfectly almost able to be imagined. Like I think I can see it, but it's so out there in possibility that I can't fully wrap my head around it. Lowkey want this as an animated short. Big +1

Spoddetman 02 Nov 2024 17:44

Architectural existential horror. Never thought I'd see the day. This is absolutely fantastic, well done on so many levels, from the prose to the dialogue to the narrative itself.

Superliminal +1.