Powerful and true. Raw emotion and visceral reactions expressed or sublimated through poetry in a great way. Genuinely hope you're destined for publication and fame my man
Very big echoing of tyu here. It's raw as hell and it drips with the emotions of the writer, fear and contempt and the scent of fear-sweat. Excellent stuff.
I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust
it's been said, but this is really great. achingly packed with dread, grief, and anger. you really communicate how painful and necessary the empathy is. there's so much condensed into so few words — it's really tremendous. i've never failed to be impressed by your stuff and this is no exception. +1
I'm brand new here - haven't posted anything of my own yet. Still pondering the mechanics of the place. I do myself write a shocking amount of vapid poetry but this - this is bone crunching, skull crushing stuff. I found myself wincing as I read it. Masterfully penned - gritty and raw. Thank you for sharing it
I'm quite new to this website(and in writing too). I want to ask if the format of the post is intentional or not because I see it all aligned to left side with only 1~4 words each line(or maybe my browser is broken), spreading it out make me understand it somehow. This feels like you're inside of some kind of club and some b*stards harmed you for no reason and yet other people who saw it just watched you get beat up without any plan to help. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it(lol) but that's just how I interpreted it. The way you wrote it is magnificent as others already mentioned. I like it!
trust the process
ignore the mess
know that you're blessed
by the highest
the format of the post is intentional. this is a free verse poem.
poet
I see, thank you very much!
trust the process
ignore the mess
know that you're blessed
by the highest
I absolutely love how you rip me out of the downward spiral created by the rest of the poem with those last three lines. I've gotta ask Zip where he sees empathy in this piece, for me it was pure dreadly ichor. I was really glad I looked up your title, I had a feeling there was more to it, and the context was fascinating
the empathy for the people who are harmed. if you dont have that you dont have all the other rage, pain, and suffering. that capacity to feel for others leads to all the other difficulty - and it is so, so painful and so necessary.
While I can't say I'm too big of a fan of the format that this piece has, the raw, visceral energy it carries is more than enough to make me really enjoy this one. Just… Incredible stuff. +1
Really incredible stuff! I am not generally a free verse person, which just speaks to how well made this poem this, because I enjoyed it a lot. As others said, being able to put that much emotion and power into such a well-sized space is a really special talent.
Thank you for sharing!
I've been pondering this one for a hot/cold minute and I'm not sure I really get it (which is a shame, because everyone else seems to be deriving something very profound that I'm just missing [the beauty of poetry, that]) but I do greatly appreciate this as poetry in a technical sense. This feels like when you find the perfect stick in the forest and you don't even need to do anything about it: some poetry feels like someone beat half to death it until it rhymed properly or had the correct meter. Free-verse poetry, even, can suffer from this (though it is less common) but this work does not. Boy does it slap, those last three lines man… Great work, well done, +1
—Oli.
Fires rage just below the surface of the ice.