Crit Request: "A Carcass Without Rot"

Crit Request: "A Carcass Without Rot"

Rambling Crow 15 Apr 2025 15:01

http://wanderers-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/ramblings-of-a-crow

It's a poem for the Caravan hub, and is based on the civilization that was built up along the river, then died when the river moved. Thoughts?

Re: Crit Request: "A Carcass Without Rot"

UncannyClown 16 Apr 2025 03:06

it's a little thin and wispy to be a standalone piece, but as a piece of flavor for the hub, i think it works. i like the inexplicable nature of the corpse: there's no obvious reason for it to not rot, but it doesn't. it's fun. just a couple nits:

A corpse and shattered and broken

i think you accidentally an and

Perhaps it's children, perhaps it's prey

its

Last edited on 16 Apr 2025 03:07 by UncannyClown Show more

Re: Crit Request: "A Carcass Without Rot"

Rambling Crow 16 Apr 2025 11:24

I appreciate the crit, thank you.

Although, there is a reason it doesn't rot. It's a statue.

Last edited on 16 Apr 2025 13:15 by Rambling Crow Show more