A Carcass Without Rot / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Carcass Without Rot.

thoughts

PallidAlbumen 16 Apr 2025 14:28

big improvement from the first draft. i think this will add to the collection nicely.

---

"—I said, with a posed look."

My first ever work!

Rambling Crow 16 Apr 2025 14:28

It's a bit threadbare, but I'm relatively happy with how it turned out.

Spoilers:

+ show block

It's a statue.

A Machine for Sloths 16 Apr 2025 14:30

I am not equipped to speak to the quality of free verse, but this has a pleasant sound when read aloud, and works well with the canon's themes. thank you for sharing.

UncannyClown 16 Apr 2025 14:53

i told you in crit that i thought this was a little thin and wispy to be a standalone, but upon rereading it, i think i like it enough to upvote. as sloth said, it's pleasant to the ear, and it's just a fun way to describe a statue.

---

poet

zipzipskins 16 Apr 2025 15:32

i think it feels good from a rhythmic perspective and i think the concept is enjoyable, but for me the verse is just a bit sparse. i think there is room for filling it out and making it a bit richer. for me it's almost too direct and literal in parts. as of now i'm no-voting but i'm very much on the edge and could see changing my mind on that so if i come back in like a ghost and upvote, it's because the strengths overcame the weaknesses in my head on reflection.