An Enanthate Engagement With The Goddess Self / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page An Enanthate Engagement With The Goddess Self.

FleshMaddAvalon 25 Apr 2025 20:49

I have tears in my ears as I press save on this. I don't really know why-im on my period and im troughing on my estrogen and i have really bad executive dysfunction and ALL I want to do is grab my bong and rake some fuckin rips. last night I ruined a month long streak and destroyed my sleep schedule and made my chore day even worse. it was a bad idea. its a struggle to stop something like this because its so easy to get but I feel like thats clear.

so here I am. again. trying to start fresh.

two years without alcohol and now 12ish hours without weed.

ugh.

I have seventh months on estrogen tho. thats the good shit. if youre thinking about it you should get on it. really. if I wasnt on it I dont know where i'd be right now.

love yall.

I have songs for this.

big ups to zippo and clowno for the crit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=ZdDHi5SSIlM___&ab_channel=flaminglips

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPXWt2ESxVY&ab_channel=flaminglips

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

Last edited on 25 Apr 2025 20:54 by FleshMaddAvalon Show more

UncannyClown 25 Apr 2025 21:03

sorry to hear that you broke your streak, but this poem is still good. your writing has a visceral quality to it that i really enjoy, and shooting it through with joy and optimism just enhances that. the third section is also lovely.

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poet

FleshMaddAvalon 25 Apr 2025 22:43

Your crit has been really foundational to that growth and I can't thank you enough for your patience and wisdom. I think everything I will ever write will have that viscerality. To deny that is to deny *me*. Thank you.

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

zipzipskins 25 Apr 2025 22:36

your growth as a poet and person has been tremendous to see. this poem hits serious emotional highs and is unmistakably you. you are owning it and it's really awesome. there's so, so much impact here. i couldn't tear my eyes away from it as i was reading. really fantastic. +1

FleshMaddAvalon 27 Apr 2025 15:09

Awa awa. Thank you zippo- this was smth I really debated putting up on the site but decided to do it just because I knew how important it was to like. Get this emotion out of me and onto the page SOMEHOW. I'm glad youve been there to help me grow into myself.

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

Snapdragon133 03 May 2025 16:37

I have always seriously admired you for your constant work against using weed and alcohol and such, this poem combines so many aspects of your identity and it's really good. I love the gargoyle imagery, especially cause of their relation to draining water? If that makes sense? It makes sense in my head. And your title is fantastic and I love that it ended up in the poem

FleshMaddAvalon 04 May 2025 19:49

The way that I title my poems is a process lol. This one just sprung up in the prose and I realized I didn't need to do any work!! And part of the reason I'm strong enough to keep fighting is friends like you <3

PS don't do drugs kids

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust