this doesn't quite do it for me, unfortunately. the word choice and diction show flashes, but on the whole, they lack punch. i understand the central metaphor, but i don't feel it. that might be partially because of overuse — people have been using caves as metaphors for various states of being lost/trapped since plato — but i don't think this is far from being something i'd upvote. it just needs sharpening. in poetry, i want words that cut like knives, and this is more of a dull thud.
poet
