these poems are all very direct, which is a quality in verse that can either massively enhance or kill a piece, i find. unfortunately, i feel that most of these fall on the wrong side of that line. that's not to say that they're awful, though! there's a real ear for the gut-punch last line and killer turn of phrase that shines through in this collection, and many of these pieces show real flashes. here are a few of my favorites:
In the morning, I'll still be a privileged man
But I'll cut until you're listening
Sex sometimes is letting you
Cut thatched things into your skin.
I don't stalk people, I don't have the
Discipline for that– hiding in trees, the hallways,
the messages, the things you feel, your past,
One of these days I'm gonna cross that desert
And realize that I'm not the man
Who's gonna mend your wounded shadow
You’ve got a fillable hole,
And a shapeable skull.
all of these kick ass, but for me, when it comes to pieces of this length, i need every line to be dripping with this kind of power, and i don't think these pieces are there yet. that said, i think they're a little bit of sharpening away from being really fucking excellent.
