A Constellation of Tears on Your Lashes / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page A Constellation of Tears on Your Lashes.

Din-Bidor 24 May 2025 17:50

Revised after some discussion with my partner. She said the woman wasn't scary enough.

Then again, she is a Tzitzimitl, so I guess it's about right that I portray her with less humanity. Tzitzimimeh (singular Tzitzimitl) are femenine deities associated with the stars, pregnancy, childhood and maternity; they function both as guardians of pregnant women and devourers of men, for the Mexican believed that childbirth is akin to war, and an equally honorable endeavor. They are the servants of the goddess Ītzpāpālōtl (Obsidian Butterfly), who reigns over the night sky and an afterlife reserved for those who die in childbirth or are victims of childhood mortality. Obsidian Butterfly is the mother of Mixcoatl, the nocturnal god of the hunt who fathered the twin gods Quetzalcoatl and Xolotl.

zipzipskins 24 May 2025 19:22

this is unlike any other entry so far in that the sheer… for lack of a better word, level of the interaction features is so immense. the stakes feel incredibly high and you've done an awesome job of cultivating the sense of cosmic bewilderment on the walker's part during this interaction, while also catching the walker's empathy. the whole thing drips with the classic din vibes too, with your natural storyteller's voice mingling with the unease and horror of the situation.

Her voice was harsh and dry, like bone dragged across a stone floor.

one of the best similes i've read in a while. i dunno, it's just really solid. +1

UncannyClown 25 May 2025 21:59

the things that i said in praise of the first version of this piece are still true, and i like this version of the conversation a lot more. this is a pretty strong entry on balance, if a little brief.

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poet

Stygian Blue 02 Jun 2025 17:59

"Perhaps I wept to lure you here, like a predator who imitates the lost child to drown the worried parent."

This work is just lovely. A little short, so it scrapes my skin like low-lying briars not quite tall enough to dissuade my passage. It went by quickly but densely — JotW works don't usually stick in my mind much, but they do flow together in a lovely way, and this one is another scent to join the woodland. I enjoyed the dynamics between the woman and our dear protagonist — they are quite strong, like an alligator and handler: wary, respectful, tense, careful. You captured that atmosphere beautifully — keeping a part of yourself to enjoy the happenings while retaining the rest of you to make sure you stay alive, like marvelling at Fae while engaged in a deal and following carefully the rules of hospitality. Yet again: Well done, Dinner! Well done.

-Styg

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What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?