I think this needed, if not more time, then at least somewhat of a change of approach. My problem here is that there isn't really any abstraction- throughout the entirety of the work, we're told directly what's what and how and why it happened. There's nothing to interpret as a reader, and wherever the verse might have allowed itself a little abstraction the prose swoops in to make sure we understand everything plainly, complete with minute personal details. I don't think there's anything wrong with drawing on the personal in art, or even with being plainly autobiographical, but if I can't comment on the content of a work without commenting directly on a report of the author's specific lived personal life then I think something hasn't gone right. Generally my metric for this is, like, if I can't downvote a piece without feeling like I'm giving a thumbs-down to someone showing me their diary entry, then I kind of can't really engage with the piece, which is why I'm not voting on this one. I don't think there's anything wrong with creating this type of art, it's just not something I feel able to interact with in the framework of this website. If I'm offering unsolicited suggestions I think the poem part of this piece could have been reworked to stand by itself, maybe- trust your audience to understand the emotional sense of your journey, they don't need to have every leg of it precisely explained.
