bark (fade out) / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page bark (fade out).

UncannyClown 12 Jun 2025 21:24

contains an excerpt from "caroline, no," written by brian wilson and tony asher

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poet

PallidAlbumen 13 Jun 2025 02:59

i liked the imagery, not sure if I like the excerpt, as it gets a little in the way, but otherwise i think that the piece kind of gets the point across (or at least my own interpretation of it)

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"—I said, with a posed look."

FleshMaddAvalon 13 Jun 2025 16:04

you dont usually use a lot of outside text in your poems but I think you utilized it really well here. There's a definite sense of yearning and loss that permeates the words on the page, and I know exaclty what loss this is attempting to enscribe. short and bittersweet.

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I watch the yonder hills
See foodwrenches toil in dust
Let their cacophonous calls
Rend our bodies to rust

Stygian Blue 13 Jun 2025 17:59

I like how this shows that even when something tries not to change, it is an irrevocable part of the self as shaped by the will of the body to change. An earthworm moves dirt and makes tunnels by the mere fact of its existence; we breathe and love and cry and eat and create as part of ours. To deny a will to change and to attempts to make change is not only a violation and denial of identity, but an act of change in the opposite direction: one has changed the world because that which lives in it is not acting as it otherwise would. There is no way to exist without making an impact on the environment; there is no way to love without warping and creating and crushing those around you, as well as the subjects of your desire. One must remain at peace with it — there is that acknowledgement, the tying-together in the breathless single line of italics before the end, and then the exhale just at the edge of dizziness where we are at peace, a droplet making tiny waves on a still pond. A beat of the heart, then stillness not related to death but to resting, and that is the end like the washed-out elation after a sprint where there is no past, no future, only the ever-present now and the world is good and change has been realized and soon there will be more bu right now it is okay and good to simply be. Raspberry mint tea.

-Styg

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What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?

Snapdragon133 26 Jul 2025 15:46

The animals colliding with the manmade makes for very interesting tumbling meaning. I really like this poem, it feels like it came to say exactly what it wanted and nothing more