Critique request: The Storm and the Sea-Beast

heyo.

What a miserable way to die, thought Orpek, then,

maybe a period here and a new sentence on "then"?

Down, down, down.

you've got some messed up syntax here, check your italics

but he understood Flent’s desire

should be "Flents's" or, less good but acceptable, "Flents'"

uh this is otherwise ridiculously good. it's propulsive, there's a lot of clarity in the prose for something so quick, really strong worldbuilding, leaves me wanting more. same sort of tight and compelling prose which i associate with your stuff pretty strongly by now. no other notes

The Wanderers' Library

Fiction from another world.