Critique Request - The Man Who Never Was

Critique Request - The Man Who Never Was

FreezerMonkey 03 Nov 2025 05:20

As the title suggests, I am hoping for some critique on my article about a man who never was.

The Man Who Never Was

I'd just like some overall thoughts. I tried to impart some of my own experiences on this. For those unaware, the article is about the Grandfather Paradox. I also took some inspiration from this scene in the Flash.

Jay Garrik Explains Time Travel

I tried to take it a bit further and ask "what happens if the mug breaks over and over and over again? And what happens to someone caught in that?"

Anyway, general thoughts appreciated.

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Sincerely
Freezer

Re: Critique Request - The Man Who Never Was

PallidAlbumen 04 Nov 2025 00:58

I thought this was interesting. The biggest concern I have is that I think it needs a bit of background information, or at least more hinting at it, so we kind of understand the plight of this guy a bit more. I think that the story does get a bit repetative, but I know that's kind of the point of it, but I think at least some more text should change through it. Again, I think some context would help greatly here, but I think everything else is good, and I really like the aesthetics.

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"—I said, with a posed look."

Re: Critique Request - The Man Who Never Was

Castaigne 12 Nov 2025 00:01

Great work, I love this work so much that I am definitely not the best to critique it. I personally really like the repetitiveness of the text, I think it could go even farther, but that could have become kinda silly. I think the succession of titles DAY 1 near the end could be better if there was the space for text underneath it, that way it could drive the point of nihilism through repetition home even more. Finally, I don't think you have to make this text nice to read, it really helps the point for the story to be somewhat boring until the end (Of course this depends on the direction you wanna go : argumentative or narrative.)

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"Do not sneer at the mad, their madness lasts longer than ours, that is all the difference."