hello there! sorry it took so long for someone to look at this.
fundamentally i love the concept of this and i think you do a lot right here. there are a lot of language hitches and i think it would benefit from a line-by-line, which i can't manage at the moment but may be able to in the future. someone else might be able to come along as well: 
Stygian Blue does really excellent line-by-line crit for instance.
i think there are two things that sort of take me out of the reading experience more than anything here. the first is the formatting, which makes me think i am reading a poem, with chopped lines and line breaks for each sentence. however, most of the writing is very direct and lacking in things like imagery and metaphor, as well as not having rhyme, a solid meter, assonance, or alliteration (not that any of these things are a requirement for something to be called poetry, but they are poetic devices that can serve as a vehicle for propelling a poetic work forward). all of this leads to the second thing, which is that i feel like i am reading a chopped-up piece of prose, which is very spare and direct. it almost has the feeling of riding down a bumpy dirt road in a cart — it's just sort of jarring.
i also think you should delete the third to last line and the last line completely so it reads
I saw a missing notice.
I came up to it.
It was me.
broadly across the board just a bit more intentionality with language and structure would benefit the piece a tremendous amount. but i am excited to see what you do with it! keep up the good work
