Draft: The Hybrid

Summary:

How (not) To Jury-Rig Your Dragon

Draft: The Hybrid

SpectralDragon 29 Jul 2016 01:38

http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/spectraldragon

Disclaimer: the summary is not my joke, I'm afraid. This is for cross-linking back to my GOI entry on the Foundation Wiki.

Re: Draft: The Hybrid

Jack Manganese 31 Jul 2016 04:47

I read your goiformat on scp-wiki, and this seems like a good companion piece. It doesn't seem to give any hint why the ritual went wrong, which I guess isn't necessary, but might have been interesting.

Also...

Finally, she released the fish into the pond. She watched it like a hawk as it swam around, snapping up tadpoles and familiarizing itself with all of the nooks and crannies of the pond.

I suggesting removing the above bolded text. The sentence is just as good without it, and I think it reads a bit better if you don't repeat the noun "pond" so closely to the previous one. That's a rule I use myself, but feel free to ignore this suggestion. It would not affect my vote. : )

Re: Draft: The Hybrid

SpectralDragon 08 Aug 2016 13:12

Thank you for taking a look at this! I've fixed it up, so I guess I'll post now then.

Re: Draft: The Hybrid

Jack Manganese 09 Aug 2016 06:57

No problem. I am always happy to review drafts. After posting to the site-proper, be sure to put an announcement in our New Article Thread. Don't worry about the tags for now, Bryx (or someone) will come by and take care of them for you, although you may wish to give some thought as to which book you'd like the stories to be listed under.

Hope to see more from you in the future. : )