Seconding the touch-up, but yeah, this is pretty funny. The working class schmoes of the magical world never really get their due. I would actually be okay with a book of tales about the unsung elevator witches, the sidewalk blessers, and the men and women who day in and day out bless newspaper boxes so that they may properly function.
For my own edification, does "diet coke" need to be capitalized? "Coke" itself can be used as a generic name, and so it stands to reason that diet coke could be left uncapitalized, but the Coca-cola product itself is called "Diet Coke." I guess it depends on the author's intent?