Not bad, I liked it. To be honest though, I'm getting a bit tired of the "people go to a different world, see weird stuff, and report it in a diary/memoir/orally" genre.
Reflection of One's Lifetime / Discussion
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There are four errors in that statement:
people
a different world
weird stuff
diary
Points if you can guess what the narrator is.
I remember reading somewhere that the male of some species of butterfly only lives for a day after it mates, and it seems to me that it's the father who only lives for a day in this story, since she says "The sun is drawing to an end now, and I know I will not see it rise as I used to."
Although if that's not what you intended, I'm not sure what it could be. I can't think of any other insect that undergoes metamorphosis but only lives for a day. Maybe I'm on the wrong track though.
I had to downvote this. What it is is clever, but the execution was lacking. The prose was far too purple for my tastes.
/forum/t-595466/reflection-of-one-s-lifetime#post-