New Story... Open for constructive criticism

Summary:

What goes around, comes around...

New Story... Open for constructive criticism

MadCatUSA 11 Jun 2013 16:09

http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/madcatusa

*** Corrected to be link to Sandbox article instead of full story.

Last edited on 11 Jun 2013 22:15 by MadCatUSA Show more

Re: New Story... Open for constructive criticism

rumetzen 11 Jun 2013 19:12

No drafts in the forums please. Set up a sandbox (http://wanderers-sandbox.wikidot.com/), put it there, and post the link here.

I don't find the idea or the writing particularly compelling, and it's way too short.

Last edited on 11 Jun 2013 19:12 by rumetzen Show more

Re: New Story... Open for constructive criticism

MadCatUSA 11 Jun 2013 21:51

My apologies for not using the sandbox. I will correct. As for the writing, ideas for improvement?

Re: New Story... Open for constructive criticism

Vivax 18 Jun 2013 15:04

At the moment what you have is a madman's scrawl on a stratum of igneous rock with references to bone meal or something in the later layers. This needs a story. This needs some sense too because I can't figure out how you'd determine that those chemicals came from human bones as opposed to say bones in general.

Re: New Story... Open for constructive criticism

MadCatUSA 26 Jun 2013 20:27

Thanks for the feedback Vivax… As you said, it's not anywhere near complete. It's a start for me. It's an idea that's been banging around in my head for a long time now and I wanted to get it down in some form. I'm still working on the rest.