My Heart Still Aches / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page My Heart Still Aches.

rumetzen 14 Oct 2013 00:31

A bit too heavy-handed, but otherwise I like it.

Vivax 14 Oct 2013 04:45

Neutral vote.

*edit* I neither like this nor hate it. It's a touch…on the nose.

Last edited on 14 Oct 2013 04:46 by Vivax Show more

Pixeltasim 14 Oct 2013 16:17

Agreeing with rumetzen that this could have been much subtler, but regardless I enjoyed it, for the most part. Yeah this was really heavy-handed now that I think about it. An extremely tentative upvote.

PuNKCaT 14 Oct 2013 20:46

Not meant to be part of the competition, it doesn't fit Viv's outline. Just another WL story please.

**Staff post**

Vivax 14 Oct 2013 20:47

I've been informed by |Punkcat| that this wasn't intended to be part of the competition proper. I'm going to re-tag and revert this to an earlier version.

Trar 18 Oct 2013 15:42

Seems like she really liked her dog.

Bunton 18 Oct 2013 16:57

I like that you embedded the reveal into the middle of a paragraph so it wasn't possible to tell from a glance, even if it is possible to twig what was going on right before it was actually said. I also like that it doesn't feel like a cop-out, and it's just generally poignant.

This may have to do with the fact that I'm a dog person, but +1

MacLeod's Daily Reviews Pt2 Ep6

Agent MacLeod 17 Jan 2019 03:34

This ain't it, chief. This seems almost like a parody, but of what I can't quite decide. It almost seems mean-spirited towards people in the same sort of place as our narrator. If this wasn't meant to be mean-spirited, there should have been more context clues, the "reveal" should have come earlier. On top of all this, this is a rather mundane story and I'm not sure it belongs in this library of supernatural wonder and discovery.