I really love the story, and the concept is a bit of a twist on the usual brief description we get of the Magpies.
However, the dialogue and prose both feel halting, rather forced. Difficult to parse should one attempt to read it aloud, if that makes sense. What this needs is a passover for clarity and Grammer.
Overall, it has my upvote because I genuinely enjoyed reading, but some work could be done to make that experience smoother.