The Laminated Pages of the Hidden
(account deleted) 27 Oct 2018 08:05
It is impossible to visualize Everything.
The Laminated Pages of the Hidden
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» The Laminated Pages of the Hidden
Summary:
inspired from fran bow's kamalas and the journal book thingy
(account deleted) 27 Oct 2018 08:05
I actually kind of like this, but a question:
Is this supposed to be a serious "documentary" about the hidden evils in ones own household… or
could it be a hilarious book with badly doctored images made by a self proclaimed "doctor" just to buy his "special" camera to check for evil ghosts. It seems like the latter option would fit more with the tone and pictures of your work
Thing is, the book is serious but a little bit funny. Because then what monster in your home will temporarily stop feeding on you if you laugh. I updated it so that the first page mentions it.
Do you think it's ready for the main wiki?
It is impossible to visualize Everything.
ok i'll just post this on the main wiki right after i announce it
It is impossible to visualize Everything.
Got a PM about this. Typically I don't review WL stuff anymore, but given the relative short length of the draft, I gave it a quick look.
- First off, the long bits of empty/negative space are a little offputting visually. Is there a reason there are so many empty spaces between text?
- Admittedly, since there's a Half Life mod called "The Hidden" and I've watched a couple hilarious youtube Let's Plays of it, I have a wee bit of trouble taking the title seriously.
- You have some spots where the paragraphs just start immediately after each other without a line space. Like "What are the Hidden? / The Hidden […]" It's again, a bit disorienting to the point of seeming sloppy.
- feeding on the many cities and souls of humans > seems a bit unrelated. How would they feed on cities and souls? Do they take physical things as well as spiritual?
- It's theorized that they appeared when mental illnesses and problems with society spiked. > mental illness has kind of always been around, though. There just wasn't as much understanding/study of it longer ago.
- One of the Hidden, the couch potato is a beast > comma after potato
- in any stressed home > home of a stressed person? The home itself isn't stressed, is it?
- couch as it's own > its
- own home > seems a bit repetitive, with the usage of "home". Domicile? Den?
- Couch Potatoes can only be > why capitalized here and not before?
- It can spot ectoplasm though an unknown process. > what is ectoplasm in this context? Also, the "unknown process" bit seems more like Foundation/scientist-speak than WL material to me.
- If you are feeling more sad than usual > sadder than usual?
I kind of skim-read the rest. The images seem a little… obviously doctored? It's a neat little collection, but could use some polishing up for context. I feel like I don't really know who the speaker is, and the dedication at the start feels kind of confusing. I'm also not sure how to react to the dissection bit at the end, it seems a little at odds with the sort of monster menagerie setup at the start. Maybe move the dissection bit to the start so you have an overview of the Hidden, and then move into the monster manual entries? There are also some pictures that I'm not sure are needed, like the doctor dude.
Overall, it's got the makings of a great unsettling atmospheric piece, but it feels a little jumbled and unpolished at the moment.
The images are supposed to be a bit comedical.
Also the negative spaces are to make it feel more like a page. It just felt weird for me to make them short. I'm not gonna change the order of the pages, since then it feels more clinical to me.
I'm actually going to expand on this, so there will be two tales where the SCP Foundation steals one of these books and more, and then the Wanderer's Library's perspective on it. After the tale, I will add a SCP page if I can.
though i'm not sure if the SCPF perspective on it tale is required, it can be written as discovery logs in the SCP page.
i will wait for your response, if everything is all right then I will announce it and add it to the library
It is impossible to visualize Everything.
Its interesting for sure. Mostly a bit all over the place though.
/forum/t-8232686/the-laminated-pages-of-the-hidden#post-