in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Flowers In The Shadow
First post here.
I hope you all love my little story ^^
Any advise will be welcome
Recent Forum Posts
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Flowers In The Shadow
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Lord Nail and the Evergreen Lady
I like many things about this, but one of those things being the easy free-flowing nature of this. Not huge prosaic descriptions, but just enough meat on the bone to chew and taste the flavours. Hinting at horrors is so much stronger than tasting it all upfront and going, "oh, is that it?" The imagination is much stronger this way.
-Styg
What is life if not the contrast between what has been and what will become?
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Cartesian Dualism
Hey there,
To improve readability and prevent bloat; in the future if you want to add on more to your previous thoughts on a piece, please edit that post instead of making a new post. Thank you!
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Cartesian Dualism
I had a question.. what does the title mean and how does it connect to the story? Cartesian Dualism? At first it made me think of math cause ima math person lmao xD
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in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Cartesian Dualism
Liked the opening. Calling it misery and it's companions. That kinda feels great of a wording! I would like to use that from now on! Grief and its companions….lust and it's companions…like the seven sins.
Great work! Keep it moving! :3
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in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Cartesian Dualism
What's disco Elysium?
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I have to second UncannyClown's comment here, this piece is a fantastic meditation on the perpetuation of abusive power structures. It's stomach-churning. For a moment during the scene where Aurelia/Asterius kills the last survivor, I had to physically look away. Well done, Rosie.
in discussion Forum Discussion / Ideas and Advice » Which Site Should I use for this Work?
Thanks. I don't really have anything more to add to it at the moment, unfortuantly, so I'll probably let the concept rest1 in my sandbox. I have a few more ideas on how I would shift it, but none ready for the contest.
Also, on a conceptual level, I don't really like strict classification systems like this. I think it kills some of the joy and wonder that comes from the anomalous to take an incredibly broad phenomenon and divide it neatly into a set number of types of thing. And taxonomy like this is really the least interesting part of science anyway.
Your second paragraph really shows that this, at least in the state that it is in, belongs on the SCP wiki. Personally, I kinda like reading on how things are defined and what any given thing would fall into, so I can see a bit of difference in taste here, but I can also see how classifying the anomalous would fall into the foundation, even if written by someone independent (as was my intent).
Thank you for the advice, and thanks for being willing to look at my amateurish writing.
in discussion Forum Discussion / Ideas and Advice » Which Site Should I use for this Work?
I think it could fit better on this site if you reorient it to deal primarily with the Neverwere and other material already on the Wanderer's Library. I would also suggest expanding it; as it is it is a very barebones entry that would likely get downvoted for not developing its ideas in new and interesting ways and just seems to summarize existing material.
Also, on a conceptual level, I don't really like strict classification systems like this. I think it kills some of the joy and wonder that comes from the anomalous to take an incredibly broad phenomenon and divide it neatly into a set number of types of thing. And taxonomy like this is really the least interesting part of science anyway.
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » The House Lights Are Up
characteristically great, subtle, bleary-eyed. i find a quiet sort of profundity in this, and if it meanders a little at times, well, so does life.
poet
in discussion Forum Discussion / Ideas and Advice » Which Site Should I use for this Work?
I had this idea for a piece for the Wing three contest. However, the theme feels a bit "SCP-y" and I'm not sure if it would fit better on the other site. Here's the link to my sandbox( the only thing that it holds is that draft). The main reason I'm worried is because while (in universe) it was not written by someone with the Foundation, it is a sort of research paper, using some SCP jargon. While research papers do exist on this site, I would like to know what others think. If I don't get any replies, I'll assume it's fine and post it on the 13th.
Please Note: While this is not a post looking for writing feedback, you are more than welcome to give it.
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » The House Lights Are Up
very great prose, and story. you bring a certain life to characters that I look up to, and the stamina in which you have these stories is impressive in the way you keep everything consistent throughout the entirety. This is a relatable piece to me, which helps my affection grow for it, and I'm excited to see what others think on it. Amazing work.
"—I said, with a posed look."
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » The House Lights Are Up
Somewhere along the way, I added Outskirts to the prompt, where the Outsiders and Outcasts reside.
A massive thank you to PallidAlbumen who not only critted this beast, but also put up with my anxiety. I cannot express how grateful I am.
Goodbye, Zion.
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Nowhere Forever
Give them goals, quirks, likes, dislikes, and work that into the narrative, both in how they present things and in small details.
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Of Cabbages and Kings
As my first read in the wanderer's library, it wasnt so bad.I had a hard time understanding what this was really hinting at. Cabbage and a human mental duels lol. Loved this idea. A question for OP tho- why cabbage? not any other vegetables?
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in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Nowhere Forever
Thank you so much! I hear the complaint here, and I have realized that even in past works that I do have trouble writing narrators. It is my number one issue that I need to solve at the moment. Do you have any other ideas for how I could make the narrator just a little more interesting?
-Overduepractice
in discussion Forum Discussion / Ideas and Advice » Crit Request (for beginning)- Unit 3 and the Spectre Man
Hi!
I'm trying to get back into writing on here. I used to go by Kilowatt/MrEction until I lost my google account and had to start a new account, that was about 2 years ago now. This is the beginning of a story building on a dream I had once. The basic idea has been done before, I'll develop, I know.
Just looking for some review on the current pacing/structure and maybe some advice as to how I continue this.
Thanks! :)
KIRQUAR
"You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You gotta run to a window and say, "Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" -UHF
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Nowhere Forever
A few notes:
- I don't have any real sense of the narrator as a character. The details that emerge seem pretty non-descript. I would be interested to see what someone, across multiple incarnations would feel is worthy of note.
- For a story that spans multiple lifetimes or at least snippets of lifetimes, there's just not a lot to go on. No sense of what sort of life they led after being aware of their reincarnation for the zillionth time. It's just sort of matter-of-fact about the whole thing. Maybe this is true to the character but it's not particularly interesting to read.
- Having the narrator spell out the moral of the story is a bit annoying. It worked for EC Comics and the Twilight Zone, but in both cases it was part of the format and also the Twilight Zone went off the air over sixty years ago.
in discussion Per Page Discussion / Per page discussions » Nowhere Forever
Feedback is much appreciated to me as I love to improve my writing skills! Please give me feedback on this story so that I may improve.
-Overduepractice
i appreciate the plainspoken vulnerability
poet