Found Pinned to the Door of Waldo Crane's Apartment
rating: +20+x

Hello sir and/or madam and/or other! You have been randomly selected by the American Pseudoultraepagology Society to participate in our peer survey. Please take five minutes to fill out the following information, then mail it to 13408541 Drewnsburg Lane, Moon City, Norego. It is important that you answer the questions as truthfully as possible to preserve the integrity of the results. Thank you for your time.

Question 1

How did you first find out about the America Pseudoultraepagology Society?

(check one)

A) Friend B) Family C) Familiar D) Pretend Information Digestz E) Other (please indicate)

Question 2

How do you pay for your membership in the American Pseudoultraepagology Society?

(check one)

A) Cash B) Check C) Blood of dog D) Pretend information E) Other (please indicate)

Question 3

What is your favorite benefit the American Pseudoultraepagology Society offers?

(check all that apply)

A) Celebrity meetups B) Free knowledge laundering C) Deity Classifieds D) Pretend Information Digest E) Access to the College of Didactic microluthornomy F) Peer editing of research fauna G) Other (Please Indicate)

Question 4

How long of a membership did you originally purchase?

(check one)

A) To the first snowmelt of the winter B) Three negative months C) The lifetime of your first son D) 10 seconds

Question 5

Are you associated with any other groups in the American Pretense Group?

(check all that apply)

A) The Cult of the Great Skyscraper B) The Woman's Gyromancy Society C) Competitive Murder League D) Blind Shaman Support group E) Aetherholics Anonymous

Question 6

What is your/your family/your symbiote/your parasite's place of residence?

(check one)

A) The Earthly Planes B) Dreams of a butterfly C) Soundwaves bouncing between twin radio towers D) Other (please indicate)

Question 7

Who is you/your family/your symbiote/your parasite's representative in the Rodinian Exchange?

(check one)

A) The Three Sisters B) Marvelous Max Milton C) The Strained Metaphor for Corporate Degradation of the Working Man D) N/A E) Other (please indicate)

Question 8

What is your occupation?

(check one)

A) House Therapist B) Eldritch Musician C) Goatherd D) Goat E) Other (please indicate)

Question 9

What is your greatest fear?

(check one)

A) Death B) Life C) The hunters behind the veil D) The secrets whispered to me by the moon E) Other (please indicate)

Question 10

What lives in the light?

(check one)

A) The holy ones B) Man C) Cowards who fear the night D) The lord Mas, who placed the stars in the sky and sets the mountains upon the Earth, whose call brings forth the armies of Isaad and whose rage decimates civilizations, blessed be his name for all time and beyond.

Question 11

What did he say to you?

(check one)

A) “Don't let me go.” B) “You did the right thing.” C) “Rot in hell Maxine.” D) “I see you.” E) Other (please indicate)

Question 12

Does it hurt?

(check one)

A) Yes.

Question 13

I'm sorry.

(check one)

A) It's alright B) Leave me alone

Question 13

Please rate your satisfaction with the American Pseudoultraepagology Society on a scale of pi to 136

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