i have been trying
to solve this rubik's cube
for all of recess
and there are devils
on my shoulders
reminding me how easy
it would be to just
smash
the damn thing
on the blacktop
until it shatters
never again to be neat
and orderly and perfect
i am
suffocating
in papers torn in half
in canvases burned
in hunks of marble shattered
they are forming a shape
it looks like you
i cling to you
like a plank of wood
in a stormy ocean
feeling safe from drowning
but never catching
a glimpse of land
when a frail man
stumbles through a wasteland
for so many
concrete-eroding years
desperately searching
for some water
to ease his cough
only to find
a blind screaming god
looming over him
what does he think
i have spent
too long
living under your
fat rolls
waiting for them
to start feeling
like a weighted blanket
i would rather
try to walk
without a skeleton
than spend the rest
of my life
with the one i made
trying to please you