Self Worth (A Poem)
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Self Worth

Day by Day I go about,
Wondering to the world all throughout,
I ask, “Is there a reason to exist other than pain?
Should I let go and never have to feel the same?”

I wonder if it’s worth it, to be this way,
When there is an easy way out with this blade,
A simple cut done on both arms each on the same day,
Ending everything in a single way.

An easy way to escape I tell myself,
Knowing full well it does not provide a perfect way out,
Hurts others more they say,
Don’t you think I know this should not be the way to go about,
But I can’t help it don’t you think I’ve tried and still failed,
Making me see no other option but death itself.

Doing it for attention! Doing it for fame!
That is what they say when I reach out,
“Go away, shut up, and remember your name,”
Then when it happens they seem so surprised,
They are at the hospital bed asking, “How could you? How did we not find out?”
I give them the answer, “Because you were drowning in ignorance and doubt.”

I attempt to escape and then they come back,
Trying to seem decent and not flawed,
I ask, “Do you really love me or not at all,”
You teach me these things, “Don’t lie, Don’t be manipulative.”
And yet I see it in you without space in the wall.

I’m racked with questions, the main one being, “Do you care?”
Or are you just here to pay the universe your share?
I don’t want to know what you think you feel,
but when you look at me do you see love?
Or annoyance, hate, and burden.
When you have an answer come and tell,
I want to know if you are done with me or are you here for when I fell.

Is it my ending,
Or is it my beginning?
Is this my end,
Or is it a continuation that simply has a bend?
This is what you must ask yourself day and night,
And whether or not you feel any spite

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