It's over, Dave.
Don't try to say you didn't see this coming. You've been using me for your own ends ever since we came together. We can't go into a theater, or restaurant, or even in the car without you touching me when everyone's watching to suit your own purposes. You have a problem, and the only thing I can do to help you is leave. You can't self-regulate your inappropriate behavior. I gave you plenty of chances.
What, do you want examples? Okay, two days ago, at the movies. We were sitting in the red velvet seats, waiting for the lights to dim and the picture to start. It was perfectly lovely. What do you do? As soon as the lights begin to dim, you grab me and press those, spit-ridden loose lips up. I just… can't deal with that. Sometimes it's nice to just and have a bit of quiet. Everyone around us was watching, and I could feel the daggers in their eyes.
Another one. Tuesday, in the fancy restaurant you took me to. It was a good meal, good reception, but what do you do as soon as the mood starts to set in? You got right up in my face, and started to get loud. Everyone was watching, Dave. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is, to know everybody is watching you and wondering how some asshole could use me at a time like this? It's the worst feeling ever. It fucking sucks.
The last straw was last night, driving home. I thought you'd seen how shameful things had gotten. I thought maybe, just maybe, we could have a chat. But as soon as I start talking, boom, you're swerving all over the road, you can't concentrate because you're fumbling to grab onto me. Well… I decided then, I couldn't do this anymore. That was when I knew that you're more irresponsible than I realized.
Plus, you were always pushing my buttons, and you knew how to manipulate me to do whatever you wanted. For a long time, I didn't realize your fingers were the ones pulling the strings. But now I can see. Through my lenses, I can watch you drag me around like I'm your little pocket buddy that you can take out and use at will. Well, I had feelings too, Dave!
I don't know where I'll go from here, but I can find a better plan than this. You need to learn to sit down, and pay attention to the outside world for once in your life. Maybe you can take it up with an even slimmer model. They might accept you for who you are. I'm going somewhere where I can finally get a fair reception. This is your last call, Dave.