Dear Mom,
I suppose I should open with "I'm sorry."
I'm sorry for all the fights that lead up to this. I'm sorry for stealing your credit card and buying a Greyhound ticket to New York. I'm sorry for abandoning you, Carlos, and Mima just as her health started to decline. For all this and everything else I have done, I am sorry. I hope you can one day forgive me.
Ever since I told you I was not quite who you wanted me to be I have felt a growing rift between us. Your unconditional love kept coming with more and more conditions and I just couldn't take it anymore. I was tired of everything being 'because you said so'. I had to do what was best for me, even if it meant leaving everything behind for a second time. I was ready for this ever since I left Havana.
That's why I bought myself a one-way ticket out of here. It wasn't easy to come to this decision, I'll have you know. Despite everything you put me through I still love you. Hell, I can't even say in good conscience that I'll forget all about you. I'll think of you every time I meet a new person I don't like and remember to be kind to them, no matter what. I'll think of Carlos every time I open a new book to read, just like how I used to read to him when he was small. I'll think of Mima every time I eat and remember to finish my plate because someone out there doesn't have anything, even if I'm already full. I will remember you all as long as I live.
I know you're probably mad at me for spending money you don't have on something so selfish, which I totally understand. I left for my own health, which I hope you may one day understand. But even if you don't, that's okay too. It'll all be okay eventually. Just like you used to say; everything gets better with time. As soon as I get a job and get paid I will send you the cash for my use of your credit card with a little interest.
There's so much more I want to say but the post office is closing soon and I need to go.
Love from New York,
Your EldestP.S.: The view from my partner's apartment is amazing. I've never felt more at home.
Aliens in America | Hunt2021 | -