Missed Connections
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Personal Ads: Missed Connections

A note from the Editorial Staff: As part of the new face of Planasthai we have decided to take it upon ourselves to offer personal ads to our readers at a discounted price. Simply call our toll-free number, summon our secretarial elemental or emit the proper spectra of radiation at our stellar vector and you too can get in touch with that special entity that caught your notice1.

BookBuddies! M4W

Looking for the girl I shared a copy of "DeBlazian's 4th Metaphilosophy and Contrarian Physical Spaces" with! I was wearing a black turtleneck sans shell, and you had a mug of coffee and tentacles that went all the way up ;)

u caught my eys the othr day Xfb4W

i wuz slimming past nd u lookd at me nd winked i wuz embarrsd nd did not ask 4 yor # wich i regret so plz get in touch if u r the persn i m talking about i wuld like 2 meat 4 coffe r mebbe lunch

Accidentally spilled my drink on your shoes… ∆˚4M

I was walking past when one of my wings caught and I accidentally spilled my juice on at least three of your shoes… You were so cute and I was so embarrassed I forgot to ask for message aura…. sniff the scratch'n'sniff if you want to get in touch!

Meeting on Top of the Stacks Vx¬4Vf∑

Was flying out above the stacks around Gallington's Font when I saw you taking a picnic by your lonesome. I landed and we engaged in jolly conversation and yet I did not get an address by which to write you, in my excitement and haste. You looked absolutely beautiful in your white oilskin. I was wearing a maroon dinnerjack. You can send message by mail or courier here:

1134523 Havelstrop Skyfloat
4th Precinct, 10th District, 2nd Erratic Courvoursier
Bell Code— Up-Left-Cute-Left

You were enchanting. I hope to meet you again!

Your handƒ are ƒo gentle B4W

You were reading me the other day in the Eƒchatology ƒection. I'm the one with the thick leather binding, gold leaƒ illumination, and vellum pageƒ. You had very gentle handƒ. I would like to meet again. Mayhapƒ we can read ƒome more? Speak with Bobby iƒ you ƒee this, he delivered thiƒ meƒƒage for me.

I tr01101001011gjfieasdfme1000110111101001milate you… Transas∂˜fI for Human F3fmle

I tried to assasdfke kge 1260 as having trouble with my translfdg03m awds∆∆. You screamed and ran a´µ∂ˆƒº´ient swarm of nanoasiog™£m49tes. You were wea4djø12h4-heels and some nice paneled shelves. I would like 8e jfgå you fo® long enough to hold you down ådf invade your cranial cavity.

You seem pretty normal… M4W

We passed each other in the "Early European Section." Your red hair was beautiful and you had the requisite four limbs and one head that I find lacking so often around here. I'd like to get to know you. Maybe we could be friends? It's rare that I find anyone like myself around here, especially after the calamity.

Come into my door H4W

I saw you stepping out of The Spicy Buddha at about ten o'clock chortling with your lady friends. You were the short, well-built young lady with hair like an exotic flower, gold, pink-tipped and nearly vertical. You wore a black leather bomber jacket and gold sunburst earrings. I heard your laugh carry down the street. I saw you hold back the red head's curly hair when she surreptitiously vomited in one of the trash-bins next to my alley. The streetlamp caught your hands and I could sense that they were the hands of a painter or sculptor. You probably didn't notice me. I was the 19th century brownstone with the geometric, rosette over my door and the ivy crawling up the bay window. I have a vacancy on the top floor with plenty of space, a skylight and roof access. It's been too long since an artist lived here, almost 75 years. I'm warm, welcoming and am open to new coats of paint and renovations.

The ferocity of the hunt requires a pack! V4M

This one stalked you through the windblown sands while you were separated from your peers. This one had hoped to hunt you down and consume you while your back was turned and your guard lowered. However this one's assessment of your usefulness as raw protein was changed when this one watched as you gouged out the eyes of a lion with your clawless hands. You are an impressive mammal. We should exchange pleasantries. This one hopes you can detect pheromones.

The perilous oscillation. A lightness of being. yyDC4zYDC

A tragedy will occur. A song will go unsung. A golden spray dips into sad eucalyptus blossoms. All can be prevented by the unity! Merge with the unique oneness of the yougloclopti! Ohasi! Ohisai! Subvert the definition with my protuberance! Blow your quanta all over my nexus.

lib->greeting(random) ${self}4${other}

self->commObj.describe(other, flatteryLevel = 0.95);
self->commObj.describe(self, truthLevel = 0.65);

    if other->emoObj.attractedTo(self) == true
    then other->commObj.contact(self);


quetzal_pretzal W4W

saw you once with the madmen in maine. you tried to kill me, i tried to kill you. saw you again yesterday reading a book about math magic or something. clockwork arm. black. dreadlocks. pretty buff and handy with a knife, given that you stabbed me. human, probably? im gonna kick your ass. then youre gonna tell me how you got here and if that book was any good.

To the Docent, W4L

I was lost inside the pataphysical theory section when you showed up to guide me to safety. Your lantern had green flame and orange trim, and you were very gentle as you led me by the hand. When we escaped the shelf of Neverwere, you ambled off to go help someone else. I need to see you again Docent. If nothing else, at least to thank you. You can contact me via the Library intranet.

I'll see you soon, W4M

You'll see me next lunar cycle near the ornithology section. We'll discuss birds, but we'll only hear the echoes of our voices. I'm the one that likes kingfishers but can't stand woodpeckers. You might just miss me if you agree to go with that phoenix, but you'll definitely see me if you try to take a lamp from that Tamto shrine. I'm the pretty seer in the purple robes that smells like candles. Maybe we can grab a drink after you defeat the rogue Rounderpede? Or was I not supposed to spoil that one yet ;)

Occupational hazard, M4M

I was the man in the trenchcoat at the corner of 66-Southwest and Escher. You were the slightly faster man with the blond hair and smoking revolver. After this blows over and my body's reconstituted, I'd like to get to know you better — it's been a long time since anybody got the drop on me like that!

To the mystery girl who gave me the runaround, F4F

I saw you a little way down the Möbius corridor, but you started to walk away when I came toward you. You stopped whenever I stopped, and ran away when I sprinted to catch up! I couldn't see your face, but I definitely sensed a connection — you were carrying the same book as I was, and even in the dark I could tell we had similar tastes in fashion. Please get in touch, I can't stop thinking about you!

You looked scared, W4M
I’m a female cthulian with black eyes, who was carrying my lunch. You were a little human male in an orange jumpsuit, with a broken tether and malfunctioning radio. The way you stuttered when I accidentally got some viscera on you was cute. I’m really sorry for startling you, and I’d love to make up for it by buying you a nice cold bloodmilk sometime. Maybe afterwards you can join my cultists. You can contact me by slaughtering a yak and drinking its spinal fluid. I’ll be able to sense it.

I didn't know Jailors could be gentle, F4F
I saw you struggling to find some reading materials in Shelf Northwest-by-Blue 56, so I lent a hand - or a wing, as it were. You seemed cute… so we sat and read together. I hadn't had a reading partner in quite some time, so it was nice to just sit there and enjoy the company. Then a Way opened and Jailors rushed out. I was about to lift you away when you said you were sorry and you had to go and left with them. For a couple of days I was shocked at myself for falling for a Jailor… but now I don't really care, I'd just like to see you again.

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