Note: this writing contains real-life religious books and contents and uses them in a not-so-lighted way, especially Islam, read with caution, please!
My God, the one I trust the most about being the creator of the earth, heaven, you, and me. But not in the way you may think!
Don't be mistaken, I am not a religious or atheist, but a believer. I believe in God but not religion. I believe the dictionary calls it "Deism". I tried to look at and study faiths and what they offer for this world and hereafter and how their God functions but… to be frank, I wasn't satisfied with the answers given to me.
For example: Abrahamic religions propose that God is Almighty, all-seeing, all-knowing, all-hearing, all-powerful, and the most merciful. Other religions such as Buddhism on the other hand tell you that you should be good for the sake of being good to enter a state of pure bliss and peace.
I don't believe in such concepts, I don't believe I will enter paradise or hell when I die, or even nothingness, I don't know what will happen to me when I die, I guess I will have to see it myself after my body rots in the grave, though, I will make sure to wave my hand to Abrahamic God if I see him in there!
What do I believe in? Something I shouldn't be able to believe in. Like a "believe because of it's absurdity" type of thing, you know? A concept so obscure, weird, and nonsensical that they might as well call me an atheist, hehe.
I believe all the religions out there are limiting their Gods because I don't think the highest description of God is still enough to describe God. The "Almighty" description of God still feels… limiting in a way.
The Gods we know are either described by their Holy Scriptures or by the followers of the religion which I believe is one of the main factors that limits the Gods. Here's my take:
I don't think we should be able to describe God at all, not humans, not anything! Metaphorically speaking, if God is infinite, so mighty that he created all of the cosmos without tiring, how can our limited minds comprehend such magnificence? If God is infinite, and our minds— or intellect and/or consciousness as a whole are finite, How can something finite understand, capture, and make sense of infinite? I believe that's foolish but a respectable approach.
In some religious scriptures, it says that the Abrahamic God is One and only One1, he is self-sufficient2, he is omnipresent and all-encompassing3, he created everything from the earth and the heavens4, he is the highest5 all of his attributes are the most perfect6 and he is the Almighty creator7, unchanging.8
While yes, this sounds like the best God there is to worship, I still feel like this is not enough… call me selfish but… if I can know about God in any way, then it is not worthy of my worship, I want to worship something beyond my and everything else's comprehension.
The Abrahamic God I just mentioned is above everything, he is one and one only with no equals or partners, the most perfect and almighty, necessary existence for all of the cosmos. But it isn't above "above", it is still understandable and definable, it uses words to explain itself which is why it's a limited God— oh, and if you're a religious person, please pardon my words towards your God, I just want to explain my point— why limit yourself to words, to any intellect or consciousness at all? Does God limit himself to give a moral compass to humanity? If so, why do people worship a limited God?
This is why I'm not religious, but a believer, believer of the unbelievable. My belief in God is that God is unbelievable, uninterpretable, unthinkable, if we can think about God, then that's not the true God.
While I believe Abrahamic God actually exists, and thus is the existence of the cosmos, I don't want to worship him, I want to worship something unworshippable, something so mighty that words or consciousness shouldn't be able to grasp its might! And since he can't be described in any way, that would affect me too! I can't think of God, I can't speak of God! Whatever I'm saying is nonsense and inaccurate here! Isn't that fascinating?!
Ah— sorry, I tend to get excited when sharing my mind with others, especially when it's against the norm, haha!
Let me go back a little, If the ineffable God I'm trying to speak of, and yet failing to do so, is "out there"— remember, everything I can say is inaccurate!— then wouldn't that naturally contradict what the Abrahamic God posits himself as? The only true God that's worthy of worship? Well, I think the Abrahamic God is the only God that we can worship and prove the existence of!
I believe that the Abrahamic God is a lower emanation of the beyond-ineffable God, while the Abrahamic God governs all of the cosmos, he's still ultimately limited to it, which is more of an indicator that my theory is right!
Naturally, I'd probably be thrown into a trashbin and labeled as a "crazy dude" if I were to express myself to any religious guy here, or maybe even an atheist. But that's the joy of it! I know I'm right! I can feel it deep within my soul that I'm right!
Though, as much as my creativity for names goes, I'd give this ineffable God a name called "negative zero" as in, uh, let me get a paper real quick…
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aha, negative zero as in "-0"! That's because "-0" doesn't exist in the line of numbers, it will never exist, and it will never be captured by the lines of numbers even if it expands infinitely! "-0" can't be captured by numbers, Thus truly unlimited!
Though I don't want to drown you with something so complicated, only for you to forget in a few days, for me, this is as much as we can get to the truth, even if reaching it is impossible.