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The Neverwere are frolicking in the Library…

After last year's events, Owlpede and I were inspired to partner with the Neverwere to host our own contest to get ahead of any potential shenanigans. Our books can't be stolen… if there are no books to begin with! Today's contest is to create absolutely nothing! No writing, drawing, coding, magic, filming, dancing, or whatever it is you patrons enjoy creating. What will you do with all this spare time? Eat a nice snack? Learn some new runes? Touch some handyman's moss? Whatever it is, we challenge you to go do that and to not write anything!


Your task is to create nothing and to go spend some time outside or in other parts of the Library for the day. What will you get up to?


Writing Period: Now to 23:59 PST April 1st
Posting Period: Now to 23:59 PST April 1st
Voting Period: Now to 23:59 PST April 1st


  • Every author may only submit one entry.
  • Collaborations are allowed for this contest.
  • Galleries are allowed.
  • No performance dehancing drugs.
  • Entries must be written with the prompt in mind. Pre-existing drafts are allowed to be repurposed as contest entries as long as the majority of writing is done with the prompts in mind; retrofitting prompts to an already complete draft is grounds for disqualification.
  • Spelling and Grammar edits are allowed, anything more is not.
  • Shenanigans will not be allowed. Breaking rules is grounds for immediate disqualification. Contest marshals may disqualify individuals at any time based on their behaviour. Shenanigans include:
    • Selectively downvoting/upvoting based on who you want to win, rather than the merits of the article alone.
    • Excessive plugging.
    • Acting in bad-faith.
    • Bragging that you had an idea, because if you had an idea, no you didn't since that idea never existed.
    • Spamming people with PMs about your work.
  • Shenanigans rules also apply to non-entrants; your nominations will not be counted should you be found engaging in such behaviours.
  • If you're not sure if something counts as shenanigans, then it probably does, but feel free to ask one of the organizers.
  • No removal of hands, brain-stems, brains, or neurons.
  • The prompt shall be interpreted very literally. So long as you can explain how your work relates to the writing nothing, you will be fine. The goal is to constrain. If you're not sure if it'll count, feel free to ask one of the contest marshals listed below.
  • All questions should be directed to Contest marshals Ayman and Owlpede.

How to Win

Unlike most contests, winners will not be decided by upvote total. Instead, in the discussion thread of this page, patrons will share what they did instead of create for the day. How did you enjoy your break? Consider this the nomination thread, except you're not nominating, and no one actually wins because this is a nothing-burger contest.

Happy (not) writing!

Entries, in no particular order…

  • Nothing by No-one
  • None-ya by Business
  • " " by Neverwere#63
  • The Nothing Burger by Parcoon
  • Much Ado About Nothing by Will
  • The Knight of Nothing by Rayearth 13
  • Nothing To Worry About by choccoMan
  • Existence; Why one Should Avoid at All Costs by Costlypoor Nietsche
  • Wait, What Happened to All the Books? by A Magpie
  • ████████ by ███ ███
  • Journey of the nobody boy by Oblivionwala
  • An Ode to Nothing Because Why Not by FreezerMonkey
  • Everything in the Universe that is Not Matter or Energy by THB (who is a total nerd)
  • "When The—" by Ruben Norris Tulege
  • A Blank Page by A Blank Face
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