⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Chlamydomonas nivalis is a green algae that thrives in high-altitude snow fields across the globe. They sunburn in heat, protecting themselves from the possible sun even through blizzard and hail, unmasked from the blankets of atmosphere. I think the sunset is a bonfire. Marshmallows grow golden brown when held above hot coals for three to five minutes depending on distance; a teepee setup speeds the process by heating evenly. Imagine the crunch, the swell of sweetened gelatin and syrup between the teeth. Mix in some dusky orange chocolate if you can. Cacao pods are a hearty orange and are ribbed like muscle. Gelatin comes from animal bones, the marrow, and develops like heavy thick droplets of oil spattering the top of a bowl of creamy soup. Greens stick out like chopsticks, and I am reminded of the braiding blades of grass that grow beside rivers. Rice grows in mountainous ranges; by the riverside, plants grow tall to compensate for the flat plains of sky all above. In the blue, hallucinatory spots cloud my vision; I need to drink water. Horns blast and those are real. Ground yourself, now, and listen: snow can change colours because when I was twelve I peed into a red solo cup clutched in the crotch of my snowsuit because it was too cold to undress from my suit and squat in the snow — I laughed because I could take the cup and draw yellow shapes in the drifts like I was a boy. I dropped the last fruits I brought in my backpack into pockets of ice to freeze them because frozen fruit is delicious and I forgot all about them on the hike back down the mountain because I was twelve and when you are twelve know truths about yourself you’ll forget when you are older only to rediscover in therapy later. My coat is black and without it my clients don’t recognize me, and in it I like to hold the oranges that were eaten by a ravenous fox on Tiger Mountain, sharp jaundiced canines gnashing down, bursting California succulent and juicy in the high Swiss peaks of Washington. The biles they still talk about in the backs of gem shops in California are black, green, yellow, and red, and none of them colour the snow quite so well as the algae that grows so high. They say that ravens cannot be mistaken for crows — if you are confused, then let the bird tell you. Don’t make presumptions about someone else’s body. Ravens change the scale of the mountains they love. Celestial peaks are brilliant and full of graves. A crow is about 1 foot tall. See a raven and a forest and mirror lake becomes a scant few feet wide despite the rainbow of spring wild huckleberries barely half a calf high with red-tipped leaves for the same reason as the algae, the scarlet blue of the water and your skin pink with sunburn and the grey jays carrying flags of berried juniper branches from trees to other trees. The pigeons of New York put cigarettes in their nests because nicotine is an insecticide and protects their chicks from maggots. Everything is so big. There is so little you know. Imagine the size of all the knowledge ever in the world. Follow it by all that humans ever in history have thought. Follow it by how much has ever been communicated to others. Follow it by how much has ever been written down. Follow it by how much has ever been written in a language you know. Follow it by how much has ever been scanned or written to the internet. Follow it by how much of that you have ever read. Follow it by how much of that you remember. Realize that you are not the size of an ant, but the size of the mites on the ant’s antennae, and the great mountain raven’s head is cocked, black eye a moon staring down. The world does not swallow whole. Snap back, and realize the staggering breadth of freedom in the universe. You are a mote of dust, drifting. The sky is resplendent in rainbow. We still don’t know how we are alive. Breathe. I love you.
Happy Pride! I wrote this in 10 minutes and I regret not giving it more thought. But I feel like it has emotion and love, and I want to get it out. I could do better, but I feel that the wild ramblings of this serve it well.