Lazarustaxon

Shelf Southwestern 00-MU, dedicated to Amenenope the Almost Glorious

DEUS EIS HAEC OTIA FECIT

Across the ages and the worlds, many esteemed oracles and pedigreed sibyls unanimously foresaw the coming of Amenenope the Most Glorious, a Figure of Power and Wisdom fated to lead the Universe in a new age of knowledge and prosperity. To determine more accurately the finer details of the Most Glorious’ coming, these seers and sages secluded themselves in the Library for a year and a day. At the end of their retreat they had shaped a perfect likeness of Amenenope and managed to divine His birthday and birthplace with the uttermost precision, down to the second and the centimeter.

In fact, their calculations were so precise that they didn’t take in account the fundamental imprecision of the Universe and most things living in it. On the night of Amenenope’s supposed conception His father drank a little too much after leaving work, and was then unable to find his way home and conceive the Most Glorious. The soothsayers were left with a stained reputation¹ and a useless statue while the mostly uncaring Universe moved on.
But even if you never were, O Almost Glorious, you are remembered.

1. This detail may explain the then-Archivist’s decision to devolve much of the shelf space occupied by prophetic volumes to the topic of ornamental topiary