something in the air
rating: +16+x

i wanted to be haunted by ghosts
this year,
not mistakes.
yet here i am
at 4 am, limp in my bed
but unable to sleep.
a summer wind enters
through my ajar window.
fuck me,
even the weather is wrong
this year.

maybe it's something in the air.

i remember putting on that
denim skirt
that barely fit,
even then.
that costume was more fitting
than any of the 'outfits'
i wore that summer.
this summer was no different.
maybe it was worse.
i mean, i'm not even sure
if i'm going to finish
my costume.

i'm a hypocrite.

i just wanted that same happiness
for you.
and you are happy!
things are so much harder for you,
and yet you still wake up every day, and
manage to keep us hopeful,

it's one of the countless reasons i adore you.

the way things are going,
i might just stay in
this year.
it's a bit sad.
but it's really not
the end of the world,
when i know
i can look forward
to seeing you.

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