There was a light in the distance, on the highway.
Which was odd, because for what felt like hours, I had been driving through highways and open fields. Eventually it got dark, and I switched on my headlights to avoid my car getting swallowed by pure darkness. I couldn't remember the last time another car passed me. That was Kansas for you, just a whole buncha nothing. But I had to get through it.
As I drove closer, to my surprise, the light belonged to a dingy little cafe. It stood out like a blemish, silhouetted by the miles and miles of empty sprawling fields and horizon. But then, all my concerns and confusion were drowned out by an overwhelming sense of relief. Finally, a respite, some place to get a drink, maybe talk to other people if I got lucky.
'The Lighthouse Cafe,' the large signboard above it read. Fitting name, I thought. There was also signage saying it was open for 24 hours. Just my luck. I pulled in to park, spotting two other cars and a somewhat familiar motorcycle.
The bell dinged as I opened the door, and half of the heads inside turned to me. The cafe was, surprisingly, packed with customers. Most of the tables were occupied, there was the quiet hum of conversation, and some people were even sleeping in their seats. So this place was a respite for long haul travelers like I thought. The people who glanced at me as I entered eventually turned their heads back to their own business.
I went to the counter, and despite the packed cafe, there wasn't a line at all. The barista was a short and stocky woman with black hair in a short bob, vaguely reminding me of a hipster with her dangly earrings, beaded necklace, large glasses, and yellow bandana holding back her bangs. The name tag on her apron read "Lucia". Something about her vacant look, default customer service smile, and how she stood at the counter completely still deeply unsettled me.
"Uhm, hey. I'll have a light caramel frappe."
Lucia scribbled down my order and told me the prize.
"Can I have a name with that order?"
I did a cursory glance around, and decided it was better to be safe than sorry. You never knew who could be listening.
"Brian," I said. Lucia made an odd face for a brief moment, as if her large brown eyes saw right through me, but she covered it with a tight-lipped customer service smile. "Alright, Brian, just take a seat, then."
And off she went to make my order. I decided then that I needed to use the bathroom.
There was a bit of a line at the men's bathroom, and I filed in behind a short, balding old man in a whole three-piece suit, who was checking his watch and tapping his feet impatiently.
"Feels like I've been waiting here for an hour," he muttered under his breath. I only then realized I didn't know what time it was.
"Excuse me, sir?" I said, tapping him on the back. "What time is it?"
He turned to me, his furrowed eyebrows and deep-set frown lines reminding me of an angry turtle. "It's nearly a quarter past 8. But I think something's bugged with my watch. Look."
I obliged and watched, transfixed, as the second hand moved, yet didn't change position at all. It was clearly a broken watch, the drive must've messed with my head.
"Yeah, that's… weird. I'll see if I can borrow a charger and check the time on my pho- nevermind." I didn't want anyone tracking my phone, so I left it behind.
"You young people and your phones," the man muttered, and I nearly laughed at how stereotypical it was.
"Hey, I'm not that young. I may not look like it, but I'm also an office worker," I said, referring to his business get-up.
He fully turned around to face me. "Oh really? Where do you work then?"
"LLC Technical, I'm in charge of IT," I said, hoping he didn't recognize the name.
He nodded. "Never really understood computers. You'd think I'd do by now, since I have one of thems at my desk, but I still don't understand the damn thing."
"I have a degree about computers, and I still don't understand them sometimes either,” I joked.
"What's your name, kid?"
"Brian."
"Lovely to meet you, Brian, the name's Herman, Herman Sweetly," he said, giving me a firm handshake.
We ended up having a conversation about our work. Or rather, he talked about his dead-end job at an accounting firm where he was content to rot at his desk for 38 years as I silently judged him.
"This line isn't budging," he eventually said, looking past the line to the stalls.
"Yeah, how long has it been?" I looked at his watch and immediately tore my gaze away as soon as I saw that it was still 8:13 PM. "Wait here."
Before Herman could respond, I left my place in the line and stormed into the restroom. Nobody stopped me. As I walked in, I saw that all of the stalls were unoccupied. The kid at the head of the line looked like he was on another planet, blankly staring off into the distance.
"Hey idiot, the stalls are free," I said, impatiently snapping my fingers in front of the kid's face. He looked young, like barely out of high school, with dark eye bags, unkempt black hair, and a stained blue hoodie. He flinched, returning to reality.
"Oh, what the fuck, what- ohhhh, shit, I'm so sorry, sir," he said, rushing to one of the stalls.
The line still did not budge. The man behind him also looked completely zoned out. Maybe the long drive fucked us all over, then. I decided to tell Herman the stalls were free, and we both skipped the line.
After doing my business, I walked out of the restroom and ran into a freckled woman with short-cropped ginger hair, cheekbones and a jawline sharp enough to carve steel, and a pin-adorned leather jacket.
"Jerry?"
"Charlie?"
So that was why the motorcycle in the parking lot looked familiar. I was dealing with Charlie Knight, quite possibly one of the most nosy people I've met, and the last person I wanted to run into then.
She wrapped me in a sudden and frankly unwanted hug. "My man! It's been so long!"
"Yeah, it has," I said, trying to wriggle out of the hug.
"Where have you been?"
"Oh you know, around," she said, finally letting go of me. "How's the job? Did you get that promotion yet?"
I covered up the unpleasant feelings the promotion stirred in my gut with a plastered on smile. "Yeah, I did, actually!”
Charlie grabbed my shoulders, looking utterly delighted for me, and I almost felt bad. "Look at you! So, what's Mr. Big Boss doing out here in the middle of, ehh… Kansas?"
I gestured vaguely. "Oh, you know, work trip. Though I think I might've gotten lost… I haven't seen another car or building in hours."
"That's just Kansas, I think. Well, if you're tired from the trip, there's this place, at least. This place is great."
I nodded.
"Yeah, I'm glad I ran into this place, I thought I was gonna have to shit on the side of the road," I said with a deadpan face, and Charlie barked out a laugh.
"Never change, Jerry."
Despite everything, I wasn't planning to.
"What brings you to the middle of nowhere?" I asked. It wasn't odd to see her traveling all over the country. I actually met her during one of her long trips.
"I'm actually headed to visit a girl in Colorado," she said, wiggling her eyebrows. I definitely did not resent Charlie for being more popular with the ladies than I was, despite being one herself. Though judging by her whole biker get-up and short hair, you'd think she was trying to be a man and terribly failing.
"That's great, Char. She hot?"
She smirked. "Smoking."
"Worth traveling hours for?"
Charlie shook her head, amused. "Jerry, Jerry. Any good woman is worth traversing the globe for. Did they not make you read the Odyssey in high school, man?"
"Oh, I didn't pay attention in English class. Our teacher was a total MILF."
She cackled. "Okay, fair enough. You wanna sit with me?"
I did not. "Sure, if there's space, this place is crowded."
"Lightcaramel frappe for Brian?" Lucia called. I glanced between Charlie and the counter, before going to get it.
"Brian?" Charlie echoed incredulously, following behind me. Never had I wanted her to mind her business more than then.
"Must've misspelled my name," I half-heartedly lied. "You know how baristas are."
All of her friendly energy was suddenly gone, her face growing serious. So yeah, she totally believed me.
"Yeah, 'Jerry', famously easy to misspell as 'Brian'. Is this really a work trip, Jeremiah?"
"That's not my name," I mumbled, taking a sip of my coffee.
She stepped in my way, crossing her arms. "Answer the question."
"Yes, it is." I detested how all of the confidence left my tone.
"Bullshit, what are you hiding? Don't tell me you didn't actually get promoted. I know you always wanted to, but they'd never let you, because-"
I silenced her by shoving my new work ID in her face, which clearly read 'Superintendent'.
"There. Are you happy?" I snapped.
Charlie stared at me, trying to puzzle out what I was up to this time. I stared back, challenging her to question me again. After a while, she finally decided to let it go, letting out a long, overdramatic sigh.
"Okay. Let's go find a seat."
"I'd rather sit by myself, actually." Anything to avoid more probing questions.
Charlie nodded, gnawing on her bottom lip. "Right, right, I'll be seeing you around, then."
All the while, that detestable unsettling barista, Lucia, watched our interaction with an amused smile on her face.
"Mind your own business, bitch," I said. Before she could respond, I went off to find somewhere to sit. I tried not to think about how everyone else in the cafe was watching with the same amused expression.
As I roamed between tables looking for a vacant spot, I saw that kid from earlier, the one with the stained blue hoodie. Tears stained his cheeks and his sleeves, and small, shaking sobs wracked his body. He looked up at me and his eyes widened in recognition.
“Oh, sorry about- holding up the line earlier,” he said in a small voice, as if I scared him. Where was this kid’s parents?
“I was just— completely zoned out, man, I couldn’t- I’m really sorry…” he was gesturing anxiously.
I shrugged. “Eh, it’s fine. Did the long trip mess with your head too?”
“Y-yeah… I just… I keep doing everything wrong, and… I’m scared.”
I really didn’t want to have this conversation right then, but I took a long sip of my coffee and sat down at the miraculously empty seat across from him.
“You wanna talk about it, kid?”
“Kyle,” he said after a sniffle.
“Hey Kyle, I’m Jerry.”
Kyle glanced me up and down for a moment, trying to stop himself from crying. “…I like your piercings.”
“Oh, thanks. I’m not allowed to wear them at work because of some stupid rule,” I said, rubbing my spider bites.
He laughed weakly. “I wish my parents let me get piercings…”
“Hm, how old are you, then?”
“I’m seve- eighteen. Just turned recently.”
“Then you’re legally allowed to get some sick-ass piercings, and you don’t need to ask your bummy parents. Are you not… moved out or going to college?”
Kyle sniffled, gesturing to our surroundings. “Do I look like I have my own place, or am going to college?”
No, he looked like a trainwreck. He had a very ugly crying face, too.
“I mean, kinda. You look like the average kid I saw when I went to college, anyway. Hoodie stains and all.” That was a lie, I flunked out of high school.
The kid blushed at the comment about the stains on his hoodie. “I- spilled iced coffee on it.”
“But yeah, I’m screwed, man, I… ran away,” he said, whispering the last part. “I don’t wanna go to college, or get a job, I know I’m too stupid, and I’ll end up getting stuck behind a desk until I fucking die!”
My heart warmed with sympathy for Kyle. He reminded me a lot of myself at his age. Except I wasn’t as fat or reeking of body odor, probably.
“Hey,” I said, softly, patting him on the shoulder. “I get it. You know what, I’ll tell you a secret.”
I leaned closer to him and whispered back. “I’m running away too.”
Kyle’s eyes widened. “Woah. Are you like… a criminal? Are the cops gonna come here? Good, because this place gives me bad vibes-“
“No, no no no,” I hurried to correct him. Didn’t want any eavesdroppers to get the wrong idea. “I’m just… running away from my job. You know how they don’t let me wear piercings? Well, there’s a lot more they don’t let you do.”
“Woah,” he said again.
“Yeah, woah,” I said, feeling somewhat proud of myself. “I like to see it as my own special vacation. And you know what, you should see your situation as one too!”
Kyle grinned, pumping his fist in the air. “Y-yeah! Vacation!”
Then his face fell, realizing something. “Uhh, there’s just one problem… I spent the last of my savings on the iced coffee I ordered…”
“Ah.”
“I spent most of it sleeping in a five star hotel on my first night running away…” he mumbled, his voice small. I tried not to laugh at how ridiculously stupid this kid was.
“You know what? It’s settled. You’re coming with me.”
What on earth was I saying? I did not want him to come with me. But the way he looked at me like I was the coolest person in the whole café, cooler than Charlie, who wears a leather jacket and drives a motorcycle and gets all the ladies begging for a piece…
For a moment, I felt the lightness I felt when I got that promotion.
And I couldn’t get enough.
Before Kyle could respond to my lucrative offer, the last person I wanted to be there butted her stupid ginger head into the conversation. “What the fuck?”
“Hey, Charlie,” I said, gritting my teeth.
The madwoman slammed her fists on the table. The whole café turned to watch.
“I don’t know what you’re planning to do or what you did, but there is no fucking way I’m letting this random kid come with you!”
“I mean, do you want to come with me?” I asked Kyle.
“Uhhhh,” poor Kyle said, no doubt scared by all the noise Charlie was making.
“Kid. Kyle, listen. This guy? Jerry? He’s bad news.”
“Don’t listen to her, she’s from work.”
“I’M NOT FROM LLC ANYMORE, DIPSHIT!” she yelled, head whipping towards me with fury in her eyes. “I’M A FUCKING- UNEMPLOYED BIKER U-HAULER WANNABE, DO I LOOK LIKE A BLUE COLLAR WORKER?”
“What’s going on here?” said some random guy who I really didn't want to deal with.
Kyle had his hands flat against the palm of his ears and was rocking back and forth, and I felt disgust revile in my stomach. Kyle was right, he was stupid, he looked stupid, he acted stupid and weak.
I calmly put a hand on the enraged woman’s shoulder. “You know what, you’re right. There is no way I’m taking this kid with me. Because he’s going with you, Charlie,”
Charlie stared at me with her mouth hung open in disbelief for a few moments. “What the FUCK are you talking about?!?”
Herman’s pathetic gravelly voice cut through the air. “ALRIGHT, CAN WE STOP YELLING?!”
We all turned to him. He looked just as old and worthless as I remembered. “This is a public space, some of us are trying to work!”
"Go back to your shitty little cubicle, old man," I sneered. "Does anybody in this whole café know how to mind their business?
“It’s hard to mind our business when you’re being a creep, Jerry, or did you tell this guy your name was Brian too?”
“He did say that,” Herman, the traitor, said.
Charlie pointed an accusing finger at me. "I knew it, you were hiding something!"
"Does he do this a lot?" Kyle asked in a very small and pathetic voice.
"Yes!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, trying to deescalate the situation while Herman, not that I cared what he thought of me, watched disapprovingly.
"Don't make me laugh," Charlie said, sounding positively deranged. She pulled out a Swiss Army Knife out of her boot and I nearly laughed at how ridiculous she was. Chances are she always dreamed of doing that.
"You better spill the beans, Jeremiah, or else I'll spill your guts," she damn near growled.
Kyle tried to help but to no avail with a "WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!"
"Oh Ms. Barista? I'm being threatened, please call the police," I said calmly.
Lucia was watching again with that terribly amused look. I didn't like it. I felt small under her gaze. I wasn't small. I was a superintendent at LLC Technical and she was just a barista in the middle of nowhere. Or at least, that was what I told myself.
"The police won't find you here," the barista said, and despite the counter being a few yards away, I heard her cheerful strained customer service voice loud and clear in my head. The others must've heard the same, because they all looked confused, save for Charlie, whose hysteric womanly anger was plain on her face.
"Fucking useless," I muttered, before grabbing the knife and wrestling it from Charlie's grip.
"HEY-"
The ensuing struggle didn't last very long, not even a minute. I slipped the knife from her hands and pointed it at her, all while standing from my seat in the booth and backing away from the three of them.
"What even is happening?!" Kyle said, still covering his ears.
"It's not your problem, you stupid little shit," I spat, turning my attention from Charlie for a split second. Ever so resourceful, she took that opportunity to deck me in the face.
For a woman, she punched really hard, I admit. I was almost too busy being punched to notice the kicked puppy look on Kyle's face, before it shifted to anger.
"I knew you were too cool to be trusted," he said, joining Charlie in the fray, and I rolled my eyes. Herman could do nothing but watch, along with the other patrons in the cafe.
Kyle turned to Charlie. "What's his problem?"
"He's a chronic liar and a piece of shit," Charlie said, squaring up.
I grinned at her. "Still not over me being better than you?"
She tried to grab the knife again, but I moved away. "You stole my job, you prick, and I tried to be nice and understanding. I really did. But I guess you just don't change."
"Why should I change?" I said, dodging Kyle's embarrassing attempt to tackle me. "I got so far the way I am!"
"That's not cool, man," Kyle said, already panting.
"Do I look like I give a fuck what you think?" I caught Charlie's hand in my grip as she tried to punch me again, and as cool as I'm sure it looked, it still hurt a bit.
"I really thought you wanted me to come with you," he said, as though I personally betrayed him.
"You really thought that?" I said, my voice raised with incredulous amusement. Kyle looked utterly broken.
"Leave the kid alone!" Charlie said, finally landing a hit on my shoulder. I cursed and slashed at her with the knife, but I only managed to get her stupid overexpensive leather jacket.
I groaned and went to slash at Charlie again. Why couldn't I just have anything? I couldn't have a high school diploma, I couldn't have a job, I couldn't have a decent position at a job, I couldn't use my powers as said position at said job. What even was the point of being superintendent if I couldn't get away with squirrelling away company money for my own savings and threatening my subordinates to keep shut? That was all they were good for anyway, because they were below me.
But then my knife hit something else, someone that was not Charlie. And before I knew it, I was looking at a large gash in Kyle's side. The tiny blade cut through his hoodie and skin like butter, but instead of revealing blood and flesh, it revealed…
Static?
No, that couldn't be right. I ignored Charlie's gasp of shock and squinted my eyes.
It was nothing.
I couldn't see what was inside.
You think you know what nothing looks like. You think you see it when you close your eyes or enter a dark room. But you do not know what nothing looks like. Not even a completely blind person can describe what it is like to you. But I know. I saw it.
My eyes tingled and my head throbbed as I looked into the abyss in Kyle's side, only snapping back to reality by Herman snatching the knife away and Charlie rushing to the kid to examine the wound.
Before I could even process what I just did, the lights went out.
"Kyle? Kyle, how are you feeling?" Charlie said. I felt around, trying to find where Herman was. I didn't trust him with that knife.
"Mmmmnnnghh," came Kyle's voice, sounding more groggy than pained. "The… restroom… 'm brain is…"
The men's restroom. Where I caught him staring into space, dead to the world.
"Brain 's tingly. Like TV fuzz," he mumbled.
Was that what was going to happen to us?
"Okay, okay. Does anyone here have a flashlight or anything?" I said, trying to stay calm.
Or was our fate going to be worse?
"Don't you try to pretend you didn't do anything you-" Charlie snapped, before drawing in a deep breath, probably just so she wouldn't come at me again. "I have… my phone, hold on."
I heard the sounds of rustling as she dug through her pockets and pulled out her phone. Upon switching the flashlight on, the beam didn't go very far into the darkness, as if the lightwas being consumed. Charlie shined the lightat Kyle, whose limp body she was cradling slumped against a booth.
The static nothing was spreading.
And it looked like TV fuzz
and the colors you see when you rub your eyes
or hit your funny bone
or tripping on acid or
"What on earth is that?" Herman interrupted, the only good thing he's ever done, and I was able to tear my gaze away from it.
My head tingled. When I was younger, my ma took me to a waterpark aquarium, where you could dip your feet into the water and have tiny fish nip away the dirt. The tiny little tingly nippings at my brain felt just as calming, and not at all alarming.
"You know what," I sighed. "I'm done with this place. I'm done. I'm leaving."
"YOU- YOU JUST KILLED A CHILD!" Charlie said. "WHO DID NOTHING TO YOU!"
"And? Better this than rotting behind a desk for the rest of your life, isn't that right, Herman?"
Herman sounded more furious than I've ever heard him, and I was reminded of how my older co-worker sounded when he found out what I did. "You dare-"
"I miss my mom," Kyle's quiet voice piped up. "I don't care if she doesn't let me get piercings or will be mad at me for dropping out, I j-just-"
He sniffled. I wished that he would die already.
"I wanna go home."
And then it was quiet.
And what I did dawned on me.
I needed to leave. Quickly, I snatched Charlie's phone and made a beeline for the exit. I crawled over tables and chairs as I heard the woman and Herman stumble around in the dark after me.
"You can't just run away from this!" Charlie said.
"Like you run from everything?" I spat back. "Like how you can't keep a job?"
"YOU TOOK MY JOB!" She managed to grab onto my leg.
I blindly kicked back, wondering why all of the tables and chairs were suddenly in my way. "I got it fair and square, it's not my fault I'm more worthy!"
"This would've been so much easier if you told the truth, young man," Herman called sternly.
"The truth? You want the truth?" I reached the wall after what felt like too long, and I ran my hands along it. It was all wall. None of the windows that I remember were there, and certainly not the door to the outside world.
Like fish in a barrel.
"Fine, I'll tell you the truth," I said, turning to shine the flashlight at Charlie and Herman who nearly caught up to me.
"As I said, I did get promoted. I didn't lie about that."
Charlie crossed her arms. "What did you lie about, then?"
"Where the funds for new PC units were going," I said, grinning.
Silence settled for a brief moment, interrupted by Charlie quietly going "what?"
"It was going to a personal account, of course, since- well- my salary is pretty low despite all the hard work I've been doing." I could tell she was going to cut in again, so I continued. "Which is basically none, but that's just how being superintendent is."
"That is not how it is," Herman said.
I groaned and rolled my eyes. "What would you know, old man? You've been a drone for decades."
He muttered a curse under his breath, but didn't attack me or anything. Goes to show how beneath me he was. "Christ, after this, I'm gonna need a vacation."
Okay, that was pissing me off. "YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET A VACATION, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! YOU'RE MEANT TO WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE, PATHETIC LIFE, WITHOUT COMPLAINING, BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR PLACE."
That finally drove him to hit me with his briefcase, but I was too high off the rush of finally getting to speak my mind for once.
"You wanna know why I'm in Kansas? Why I’m running?” I said, my eyes and grin wide.
“I finally got the girl, you know. And all I had to do was threaten to fire her.”
Charlie looked aghast. “O-Olivia?”
“Yes, obviously it’s Olivia. Do you know any other high caliber women in LLC, Charlie? You of all people would know just how good she is at-“
Charlie grabbed Herman’s suitcase and bashed it against my head. I groaned, trying to stop her from doing it again as my head throbbed.
“Gee, Char, I knew you were jealous, but not that jealous!” I said, tossing the suitcase into the dark. “Jealous a man can treat her better?”
“Go to hell, Jerry,” she snarled. She grabbed my shoulders and headbutted me, causing her to break her nose. The pain only served to spur me forward.
“I’ll see you there,” I taunted. I didn’t even notice Herman disappear into the dark.
“FUCKING DIE ALREADY!” Charlie screamed, before she saw the crack in my head. I lifted my fingers to the static I felt oozing down my forehead.
“Ha… ha… ha… Oh, this is just great,” I said deliriously, watching the static nothing slowly sap away my fingertips.
Charlie fell to her knees. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.”
I shone the flashlight at her to see the darkness start to consume her, starting from her bleeding noise, eating away at her face, crawling up from her knees. Before I blinked, last I saw was her faceless head blinking into nothing.
Just my luck, the phone battery ran out, along with my light, and I was shrouded in darkness. I waited for the darkness to consume me. But it didn’t come. Even the pain of my head felt dull. Tingly. Like fish nipping.
Then I saw the lightin the distance.
I had no choice but to approach it.
I didn't know for how long I walked, but the brain TV fuzz never left, only becoming hungrier. Somehow, I was at peace.
And then I saw the light. It was Lucia.
"You."
She had that very same amused face from earlier. She looked like Olivia, I only then just realized. But she wasn't worth taking at all. She was a barista. She was beneath me.
Then she was above me, as I started sinking into the darkness.
"D-do something, you stupid bitch!"
Lucia only watched as I fell further and further. "That was quite a show you put on, you know."
"You're a part of this?"
"Of course I am. I am the Lighton the highway."
I understood.
Because the Lighthouse Café was the bait, the mouth, and the stomach.
"What happens to the others?"
"They will join the crowd."
"And… me?"
"Well," she crouched down to meet me eye to eye. "It has been a while since I've had a vacation. But I don't deserve one, right? Because I deserve to be working behind the counter. As it is my place."
I watched as she stood back up.
"I hope you like your new job, Jerry."
She stomped on my hand, and I cried out in pain. As I let go and sunk further into the deep, she watched with a small, contented smile. And in that rehearsed customer service voice, she said;
“Thank you for coming!”