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Interviewer: Welcome back to the Mage's Tower. I'm your host, Rebecca Charles, and today I have a special guest on the show. Perhaps the most influential living member of the Discordian faith, I'd like to introduce Whendi Everdriver, the First Mage of Eris!

Whendi: It's a real pleasure to be here, Charles!

Rebecca: Please, call me Rebecca.

Whendi: You got it, Charles.

Rebecca: Okay… Well, my first question for you is, what exactly is Discordianism?

Whendi: Discordianism is a reaction to the stifling insistence on order in this modern society, for all of its flaws and weaknesses. Of course, order and disorder are actually one and the same according to the writings of Malaclypse the Younger. The only real difference, I think, is perception.

Rebecca: Perception?

Whendi: Perception!

<brief silence>

Rebecca: Can you elaborate?

Whendi: Oh, yes. Malaclypse describes it as looking at the world through windows on which grids have been drawn. Everyone has a different grid, and 'cultures' are just a group of people with similar grids. These windows show us the grand chaos that is reality, and through the grids we determine what parts are ordered, and what parts are disordered. But regardless of the grid used, chaos is chaos - it's only our perception of chaos, filtered through the unique grid we see reality through, that determines what is or isn't ordered.

Rebecca: I… see. But you haven't exactly answered my initial question.

Whendi: Yes, the nature of Discordianism. The people in charge expect their rules to be followed, their grids to be obeyed, and punish those who won't or can't follow these rules. This is what we refer to as destructive order, order which stagnates and decays. Discordianism rejects the prevalence of destructive order, preferring creative order and disorder.

Rebecca: So your goal is some sort of social and political reform?

Whendi: Yes. Through Discordianism, I hope to free peoples' pineal glands to the truth of the cosmos and allow them to pursue true creativity.

Rebecca: Through the use of 'creative disorder'.

Whendi: Yes!

Rebecca: What exactly is the difference between creative disorder and destructive disorder?

<Whendi pauses to think for a few moments>

Whendi: Okay, you know the alignment chart in Dungeons and Dragons? Lawful good, true neutral, chaotic evil?

Rebecca: Yes.

Whendi: The creative/destructive axis and order/disorder axis are kind of like that. Creation, obviously, is preferred, but society as it stands favors order, whether creative or destructive. But this is all backwards, order isn't inherently better than disorder.

Rebecca: That doesn't-

Whendi: Creative disorder is art. Destructive disorder is riots and war. Creative order is systems and organizations to improve lives and help people. Destructive order is tyranny, slavery, control for the sake of power. Do you understand?

Rebecca: Yes, yes, I think I get what you're saying.

Whendi: No you don't. Not yet. But you will, one day. You all will!

<Whendi points to the studio audience, eyes wide. Rebecca laughs nervously>

Rebecca: Okay, well, moving on. Your faith primarily worships the Greek goddess Eris, correct?

Whendi: Oh, 'worship' is such a strong word. We look up to her and try to follow her teachings as best we can, but to claim we treat her in the same way Christians treat their trinity is quite inaccurate. Discordianism isn't a true religion, you see.

Rebecca: So is it possible for a Discordian to also identify as a member of another religion?

Whendi: Yes, in fact that's encouraged. There's no one way to enlightenment, and we want everyone to find their own way to the Erisian mountain tops.

Rebecca: From what you've said, it sounds like you don't actually have that much power in Discordianism.

Whendi: Yes, it's very decentralized. It wouldn't be very Discordian to follow the same rigid hierarchy that 'proper' religions do, after all.

Rebecca: Interesting. Back to Eris, though. Writings from ancient Greece depict her as a malicious, disruptive force.

Whendi: Oh, those ancient Greeks can't be trusted with historic matters. They were victims of indigestion, you know.

<Rebecca pauses, looking confused>

Whendi: So is that all, or-?

Rebecca: Ah, one final question. How does one go about becoming a Discordian?

Whendi: Just declare yourself one! You can find cards online to print out that will identify you as a Discordian.

Rebecca: That's it? No initiation rituals or regular meetings?

Whendi: Well, you can have an initiation if you want, there's one described in the Principia Discordia, but it's not necessary. In fact…

<Whendi again points to the audience>

Whendi: As First Mage of Eris, I hereby declare every single one of you honorary popes! Your special hats are under your seats!

Rebecca: This isn't Oprah, we don't do that.

<Despite Rebecca's claim, several audience members do indeed produce hats from under their seats. The hats resemble Whendi's own, being pointed and having the Hand of Eris on the front>

Rebecca: Okay, great. Well, that's all the time we have, thank you for coming on, Whendi.

Whendi: It's been my pleasure, Charles.

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