Content Warning: Repeated mentions of suicide
Let me go, oh god
and let my black heart
seep into the dirty
carpet with the blue
schoolroom pattern that
reminds me of the
way I used to just
exist in silence.
I am not tired.
Oh god, let me leave.
Let me leave this place
you call a body.
Oh god, I am talking
to the blue pinup
board I was too dumb
to use. Let me not
have been born, so that
my stain and strain on
this world will never
have been. Oh, god.
Let me die.
Make me
the one
who is
gone
like Judas
and Persephone
and the
animals who
didn't get
stories.
Take me back to the
nothing they say you
made me from.
I am at the end
of a long dim place
lined with things I
do not know if
I want any more.
Oh god, take it all
away. Give me the Lethe
as John Donne called for
in that poem
about sex.
Oh god
clean me
from this
soul.
Make it useful
For something.